Nuns Not Impressed By Lady Gaga

Nuns don’t understand Lady Gaga. Small children understand Michael Jackson and Heath Ledger’s deaths. And Martha Stewart can’t comprehend Jessica Simpson’s dead dog surprise. Welcome to your Friday gossip roundup!

• The nuns at Lady Gaga’s Catholic high school saw her VMA performance and, according to a source, “were not amused.” [Page Six]

• Jessica Simpson has called off the futile search party for her dog, who was eaten by a coyote. [TMZ]

• Meanwhile, Martha Stewart isn’t offering Simpson a sympathetic shoulder. The kitchen queen says the pop star should have been more careful. But those coyotes are wiley! [Page Six]

• Annoying singer Avril Lavigne and her husband, Deryck Whibley are separating. You know what that means? Divorce. [Us]

• What? We’re confused. Amy Winehouse, who once had an appetite only for powder and booze, ate three times in one night. [The Sun]

• Madonna’s pants are invisible! [3am]

• So is Mena Suvari: door men are having a hard time recognising the once-ubiquitous actress. [Page Six]

• Katherine Heigl’s adopted baby is Asian, cute and in for one hell of a ride. [Us]

• Michelle Williams went to a Brooklyn coffee shop and some nosy kid asked her daughter about having daddy Heath Ledger die: “Are you so sad that your daddy died like Michael Jackson?” [Page Six]

• Sorry, Gawkers: Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner won’t sell their wedding pictures. But we’re sure some will leak anyway. [Page Six]

• Robbie Williams fears for Susan Boyle’s sanity: “It will not take much to push her over the edge. Her head seems like a strange place to be.” We can only imagine. [The Sun]