Lindsay Lohan’s Voicemail Will Make You Want To Cry

It’s full of crazy fans, horrible opportunists and her slimy father, which is a combination of both. Yes, a glimpse into Lindsay’s voicemail inbox may just be the Rosetta Stone to decipher why she is such a horrible mess.

Last year, Lohan put her personal contact info on her Facebook page, and it circled around the internet for just about anyone to call her. Someone figured out her voicemail password (it wasn’t hard, it was 1234) and Animal New York posted a sample of the aural delights found there, and it’s not pretty.

Sure, there are a few drunk people saying retarded things, but even worse are all the people trying to get something out of her: a party promoter who wants her to host a gig that her girlfriend Samantha Ronson is DJing; a girl who wants to “have coffee” because she’s “DJ, like Samantha Ronson” and then leaves her MySpace address; and her father, who just wants a call back.

Actually the saddest part is when Michael Lohan says that he went to hang out with Lindsay’s siblings, but they didn’t want to see him. Instead, he went to 7-11 and bought a copy of Lindsay’s CD and is driving around listening to it. He even holds up the phone so we can hear. Yeah, cause that’s what is going to make your daughter like you, knowing that you purchased her magnum opus from a roadside convenience store for $US7.99?

This is the torture that must lead the starlet to her misbehaviour. Oh, Lindsay, it is a sad and lonely life you lead, but this is why God invented publicists. They take all the shitty calls you don’t want!