Jeremy Piven Will Repeat His Story Until You Think It’s True
The devil is in the details, and the details to this little devil’s story keep getting piled on. Piven told David Letterman last night that he not only had mercury poisoning, but a host of other ailments as well.
Last night on the Late Show, Piven said “20 years of eating only fish” also lead to Epstein-Barr, heart arrhythmia, and back spasms. It’s amazing this man gets around without a Rascal. Mercury poisoning does cause high blood pressure and elevated heart rate, but usually not arrhythmia or spasms. It also causes itching and pain, skin discoloration, swelling, hair loss, and skin peeling off in layers. Don’t you think any stories involving these would be much more colourful? And how did it lead to him contracting a virus like Epstein-Barr? Maybe that was something he caught at, we don’t know, a party or something?
Piven also says that he got the best tests in the world at Quest Diagnostics, which can be found on just about any street corner in Manhattan. Earlier this year the company acknowledged it may have given thousands of people false results on Vitamin D tests. Piven also again name checked his fishy celebrity doctor Carlon Colker.
He’s sticking by his story why he couldn’t continue doing eight shows a week of Speed the Plow, and a arbitrator recently cleared him of any wrong-doing in leaving the Broadway show two months early. Because every celebrity becomes a crusader for the disease he suffers from, Piven is now fighting the injustice of fetid fish across the globe.
Dave was very sympathetic to his condition, and the interview couldn’t be classified as anything but softball. Piven even got in a few good laughs. We’re not only impressed that he’s kept up his story for so long, but now it’s even compounding itself. Give it a year, and his sushi habit will have lead to acute zombieism, where he marched around with his arms extended trying to satisfy an unquenchable hunger for brains.
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Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)
I'll believe it when I can stick him in my mouth and he can tell my temperature.
ANd I am ashamed that I liked the idea...
This motherfucker gives a shout out to Qwest motherfucking Diagnostics, who fucks me over EVERY time my no-insurance ass has to go to the doctor and get blood work?!?!? Grrrrrrrrrr!!!!
@edwina3: Yes, a hangover is a hard way to learn that it isn't good to party when you have a job to do the next day. Except, if I can do it, why can't he? He has hair now, doesn't he?
I want to rip the apostrophe and the 's' out of this post's title with my bare teeth and then smash them into the ground.
MissPeacock
@edwina3: Your comments about Piven's condition show a lack of knowledge about spell check
TriedandTrue
See, when Hemingway did this, it was with class. He wanted out of his contract with a minor publisher, Horace Liverwright, which required another book. So he wrote a silly send-off of Sherwood Anderson, star author of HL. That's how you do it. And HL duly refused the manuscript and Papa was free to sign with Scribner's for lots more bread. In later years, he acknowledged it was ungentlemanly, but he suffered from mercury poisoning from catching all those marlin.
Note: My favorite Hemingway novel of all time now is "The Torrents of Spring," the above-cited satire of "Wineburg, Ohio." Go figger.
@edwina3:
So you're too hungover to do eight shows a week as well?
Bloviating in defense of Piven suggests you're on his payroll, which would be sad, or that you are the man himself, which would be sadder.
City_Dater
@edwina3: But what can you tell us about that rug on his head?
im10ashus
The 'hair loss' symptom is obvious by the presense of that small mammal on his head.
seattlesue
@homoviper: Poisoned Bloody Mary?
@edwina3: are you part of some viral PR campaign?
@edwina3: Your comment about Piven's condition shows that you don't know what you are talking about, since Piven was photographed maintaining a nightlife that would give Lindsey Lohan pause while allegedly being too sick to work.
Scooter34
Your comments about Piven's condition show a continual lack of knowledge about the presence of mercury in fish. As one who has had very similiar conditions to Jeremy was tested with high amounts of mercury, ignorance is bliss. I quess it just feels better to be crticical and judgemental. What goes around, comes around is my experience. When I was full of vitality, I was contemptuous of weak people, too. Now, I have been forced to be compassionate about conditions I know nothing about. I'd trade compassion for judgementalism anyday but it is a hard way to learn.
edwina3
"No, she has Lyme disease in addition to Epstein-Barr syndrome. It's like Epstein-Barr with a twist of Lyme disease."
homoviper