Heidi And Spencer Wreak Havoc On The Miss Universe Pageant

Speidi acts the arse at the Miss Universe pageant, Sting’s status as a sexual God is bullshit, Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush reconcile, Jason Schwartzman got married, Marc Jacobs is getting married, and Amy Winehouse goes on a 48-hour bender.

• Heidi and Spencer are taking their clown show to the Miss Universe Pageant, where Heidi is supposed to perform some horrible song horribly and Spencer is just being an enormous arse, as is his usual proclivity. [Page Six]

• Sting’s daughter claims that her father knows nothing about tantric sex and that the whole rumour about his sexual prowess was a gag perpetrated by Bob Geldof. In other news, there’s something uniquely creepy about a daughter discussing her father’s sexual prowess. [Gatecrasher]

• Oh for Christ’s sake! Just in time for the start of the NFL season, Kim Kardashian, the ample-assed Armenian succubus, is in New Orleans trying to win Reggie Bush back. Beautiful, just freaking beautiful. Geaux Saints! [Daily News]

• Amy Winehouse is still doing everything in her power to kill herself. She recently went on a 48-hour bender and The Sun has some ridiculous photos of Wino with white powder all over her face and a severely burnt finger. [Sun]

• Phil Spector is whining and crying about being in prison while his 29-year-old girlfriend smuggles him food in during her visits so he doesn’t have to eat in the mess hall with all the animals. [Page Six]

• A 22-year-old model has filed a lawsuit against David Copperfield claiming that he sexually assaulted her in the Bahamas two years ago. [TMZ]

• Jason Schwartzman secretly married a clothing designer named Brady Cunningham at his home in California recently. [Daily News]

• Marc Jacobs is planning to marry his Brazilian boyfriend Lorenzo Martone this weekend in Provincetown, Massachusetts. Apparently, no one is invited, but there will be an afterparty at some point. [Page Six]

• Ricky Martin has revealed the one-year-old twin boys that he had through a surrogate mother last year by taking them to the beach and posting photos on Twitter. And no, he’s still not out of the closet. [Daily Mail]

• Okay here’s a news flash: Paula Abdul will not be returning as a judge on American Idol. Again. So can we all just move on with our lives now? [Page Six]