You Cannot Stop Jude Law’s Prolific Seed-Planting
Jude Law has knocked up an unnamed lady-friend, Mel Gibson attacks someone in a club, George Clooney has an Italian “lapdance model” by his side, Mischa Barton’s friends are worried about her and Amy Winehouse’s dad fakes a heart attack.
- Jude Law will soon become a father for the fourth time. His spokesperson issued a statement last night confirming that he knocked up some unnamed girl he had a “relationship” with last year. Jude, just go have the ole snip-snip done if you’re unwilling to wrap up. Geez, it’s reversible. [EW]
- Friends of Mischa Barton are concerned that she’s being released back into the wild way too soon. [Daily News]
- Mel Gibson was out partying with one of his many Russian girlfriends when a Life & Style reporter posing as a fan tried to get a picture of him, which caused Mel to snap and unleash his biblical passion upon the lowly tabloid journalist and her friend, whose shirt he ripped up. [Hollyscoop]
- Oh this is just heartbreaking—Michael Jackson’s children formed a circle by holding hands and prayed frantically while paramedics attempted to revive their dad in their home. [Mirror]
- Dan Aykroyd bombarded the kitchen of some swanky East Hampton restaurant and starting yelling at the chefs that all of their dishes were “rubbish.” He then jumped behind the bar and began slinging drinks to everyone. [Page Six]
- Does anyone care about Jennifer Lopez anymore? Regardless, she and her husband Marc and their kids celebrated her 40th birthday in Rome, just in case anyone does care about Jennifer Lopez. [Daily Mail]
- According to the Mirror, George Clooney’s new squeeze is a “lapdance model,” meaning that she’s a Italian model who loves to get drunk and give lap dances to men. George Clooney is a man to be celebrated. Here he is on a motorbike with his “lapdance model.” [Mirror]
- Michael Showalter says that appearing on Letterman’s show is like walking into your own television set, among other things. [Starpulse]
- Anna Wintour has gone power mad and is planning to invade Bulgaria because she has always wanted to rule a country in the Black Sea region. Or something. [Page Six]
- Amy Winehouse’s father says that he faked a heart attack to try to shock his daughter into kicking her addictions to heroin and crack and God knows what else. His efforts failed. [Daily Mail]
amy winehouse
anna wintour
dan aykroyd
david letterman
george clooney
gossip roundup
jennifer lopez
jude law
life & style
mel gibson
michael jackson
michael showalter
mischa barton
- Next Post: Which Actress’ ‘Food Poisoning’ Is Really Heroin Withdrawal? »
- « Previous Post: ‘No Rain, No Rainbow’
Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)
@CJKatl: Perez? Is that you?
LittleSecrets
At least if was Jude Law and not John Gosslein (SP?).
Seriously though, he should have his tubes tied now. It's like he joined the Quiverful movement, but can't seem to do it right.
Brian Fowler
@jerusalemcricket: and guess who was just revealed as the mother?
@Fry_Bread_Power: It would have been even better if he had the armless guy teach her a lesson.
shanaisapunkrocker
Akyroyd just did want so many have wanted to do upon dining in a Hampton's establishment.
@Fry_Bread_Power: "And that's why you don't freebase!"
Jude Law needs to wrap his sausage when he shoves it into pink tacos.
LVP
@TroisFilles: It's a floor wax!
Craig Kilborn reference noted. The Hell is he doing nowadays?
@Fry_Bread_Power: He should have just left a note.
Nice that the artist formerly known as J.Lo and Victor from Seven (It's possible the world renowned star of Monster-in-Law shines two penlights in his eyes daily) can find the copious amounts of time they both have to do even more of nothing.
Spirit Fingers
@Dr. Nick: Please! Stop the violins here!
TroisFilles
@TriedandTrue: Yep. Don't be surprised if mama is later revealed to be Rachel McAdams' sister.
jerusalemcricket
@Mo MoDo: high five!,
http://www.instantrimshot.com/
SteverMan
I'm glad to see Mr. Winehouse is taking parenting tips from George Bluth, Sr.
@dotorg greg: You are not alone.
ambitious
Shouldn't Jude Law be making lots of babies though? I mean, who are my children never going to have a chance in hell of dating if he doesn't? Other than the Jolie Pitts. And Halle Berry's superspawn. Actually, that's a lot of motherfuckers.
ambitious
@Private Hangnail: You shouldn't be doin' things like that to your cat or your sister.
People will talk. Look at us now.
SteverMan
From the title, I was expecting a story on hair transplants?
@irishflyesq: He cut the devil out of his finger slicing a lime.
@irishflyesq: irishflyesq, you ignorant slut.
This one time my sister and me were watching Alfie with the cat and wouldn't you know it but six days later both sis and the cat were pregnant. I think Jude Law's pregnancy rays must have done something weird to me, though, because I got pin worms.
Did Dan Aykroyd use the Bass-O-Matic to make those drinks?
irishflyesq
"Friends of Mischa Barton are concerned that she's being released back into the wild way too soon."
For some reason, I'm picturing poor Mischa, complete with bloatface and bad bikini, loping across the savannah. Close behind her is Marlin Perkins, standing up in a jeep with tranq gun at the ready.
mnemonic
Mr. Winehouse, Promises Malibu has been using the "a good shock cures addiction" treatment model for years now by employing therapists to jump out from behind doors to scare patients. But also...that clinic never seems to actually rehab anyone. Much better to get Amy on Celebrity Rehab. At least then she could make some money off not benefitting from treatment.
SparkleNeelySparkle
Does Jude Law get visitation rights to the baby's nanny?
More Dan Aykroyd gossip, please?
chersolly
Michael Showalter gets a spot on Gossip Roundup? Yippy, pippy, motherfucker.
Michael Showalter gets a spot on Gossip Roundup? Yippy, pippy, motherfucker.
Was Misha Barton released too early? Something tells me this whole past couple of weeks has been an attempt to get publicity for her new show. The timing was more suited to getting her name in the news than to any real therapy. Folks, we've been had. By Misha Barton, no less.
CJKatl
The Gossip Roundup needs more Ackroyd.
Or how about a little Chevy Chase, eh?
Jude's Law: "I'll pull out in time, don't worry."
Martiniman
Ackroyd is still doing that much blow?
Swordfish
My dad once faked a heart attack to get me to make my bed. It's a standard parenting technique.
uncivily obedient
Dan Ackroyd hosts wet polo shirt contests in the Hamptons?? Mischa Barton has friends capable of emoting concern? Jennifer Lopez still includes her husband in press releases? Amy Winehouse's father is stupid? That's a lot to take in a short amount of time.
lionboy
At some point, if you are an old actor (like Dan Akroyd) and you were drunk, the owner should be honored and take a picture.
Iwillnotauditionforastar
Blind Item from the other day, resolved!
TriedandTrue