The Year Of Awkward Young Men

@sarrible: That's because Ryan Reynolds is a thick slab of tender man meat sent here to make women happy. No surprise.

500 Days was probably the worst boner killer I've ever seen. That movie sucks the biggest balls ever, and I can elaborate, but I'll spare everyone.

Calaverius

@Brad Nguyen: Grow a pair and get over it.

Courteous_Gentleman

I fell crazy in love with one of those. Moved 2,700 miles away from home to Buffalo, NY to live with him when he got into an MFA program (barf) where he made letterpressed and silkscreened art about me and about us, wore lots of sweater vests and tweed pants (and occasionally, my hand to god, saddle shoes), and built beautiful furniture for our tiny, adorable apartment. We were happier than I ever imagined anyone could be.

Then, after three years, he very suddenly told me he "needed to be with someone who amazed and inspired him", left me, and disappeared. I never heard from him again.

Now there's a movie.

Leah Marie

@sarrible: I still don't know what the plot of that film was.

Limitedappeal

@Brad Nguyen: Most of the thoughtful, sensitive boys I know, who are frustrated about this kind of thing, only wanna date girls who look like Zooey Deschanel, Kristin Stewart or Natalie Portman. The ones who don't, secretly harbour crushes on Megan Fox or Jessica Simpson... This is kinda painful for the thoughtful, sensitive, less striking girls. I just wanted to point out the potential raging hypocrisy here. Also, get a sense of humour.

Ellabella

I was just thinking about this the other day when I was rewatching Heathers. You don't see young men with darkness clearly in their hearts the way you used to. Or if you do, they are a bully or esoteric artist type. Maybe it's a Columbine thing.

TomRegan

@rajmahall:

I've got it bad for Renner.

whoneedslight

@metoometoo: You do realize that'd only make Don pull you closer, nuzzle his burning, stubbled cheek against yours and purr, "Now the other side, tiger."

Trai_Dep

@Natasha VC:

That got me curious. He and Daniel Defert were together for 25 years in a "state of passion."

http://www.foucaultsociety.org/resources/michel_foucault.asp

@Uncle_Billy_Slumming:

I welcome all comparisons to Foucault, including his taste in men.

@Brad Nguyen: I guess a woman must tell her friends at an intervention "but I love HIMMMM" while crying for the love to be real.

But that's okay, what's a woman's love worth? I hear it trades at around $7.50 a barrel. Don't let it bother you.

♪ There's a place in the world for the awkward young man
With ironic t-shirts and one liners in hand
He refuses to speak up and mumbles his lines
He is scrawny and weak and overly kind
And his girlfriend's so out of his league, it's obscene
Is Michael Cera the man of anyone's dreams?
But he likes to be known as the awkward young man... ♪

This trend (wimpy man-boys) is due to producers (who simply dump scripts that have active and manly leading male roles) fishing for the Twilight Tweens and Mommies.

This is also symptomatic of Hollywood simply ignoring men for anything other than a Michael Bay CGI-extravaganza. Male qualities such as toughness, loyalty, endurance, and friendship are simply absent in these emo-whiny man-boys who are so obviously aimed at Tweeners and their Moms.

CarlImbecillous

@Brad Nguyen:

Brad, I'd let you spoon me.

@Dr. Girlfriend: Oooh, but she's so cute! Yi is adorable.

Aidan_

@tunamelt: I don't know... for me, one usually segues into the other.

Oh man. Micheal Cera and Charleyne Yi dated in real life...and probably had sex...

That would be like a gummi bear getting it on with the Velveteen Rabbit...

This post is just so offensive. Who would have thought that Defamer would be criticising men for not being "masculine" enough. Teasing Michael Cera for not having genitals because, what, he's skinny and plays shy quiet characters.

And you seem to believe that women aren't receiving real pleasure unless they submit to a dominant male with a six pack whose not afraid to beat up on you.

Are you at all self-aware of the gender sterotypes you are perpetuating?

This is a fucking awful post.

Brad Nguyen

I'm sensitive, geeky, gentle and cerebral. I'm also passionate, angry, robust and need my richly curled hair pulled so fucking badly.

They should put me in movies. :P

Aidan_

@magnets: I have a terrible, terrible suspicion that you are correct.

You're not the only woman who pays more attention to mean who are mean, but this is basically why people like Dick Masterson and Tucker Max exist. I prefer men who are "gentle, sensitive, and geeky" because I find traditional gender roles largely unattractive and limiting.

QuinellaAntheia

I found Ryan Reynolds so much hotter than Jesse Eisenberg in Adventureland.

@Natasha VC: I've heard the same story. And men stopped wearing hats when JFK took the oath for President...bare-headed.

@Natasha VC:

Here, I'll let Michel warm you up until I get back from caber toss:

"If repression has indeed been the fundamental link between power, knowledge, and sexuality since the classical age, it stands to reason that we will not be able to free ourselves from it except at a considerable cost."

"Power is not an institution, and not a structure; neither is it a certain strength we are endowed with; it is the name that one attributes to a complex strategical situation in a particular society."

@smithhimself:

I don't know if there's any truth to this but I once heard that after 'It Happened One Night' came out sales of sleeveless white undershirts soared because of Clark Gable's topless scene!

Thank god for DVDs. This is one scene I periodically view to remind myself of the Golden Age of Hollywood virility.

@metoometoo:

Maybe it's the 'grass is greener thing'. I'm a goofy gal with tickets for Depeche Mode next month. It's not a niceness thing, though I'll admit men who a mean do get a smidge more of my time than they deserve (just a smidge) it's more like I want a Michael Cera with chest hair?

@Uncle_Billy_Slumming:

Too 'outsidery'

@Mikey-B: HA! Awesome. Its good to have company.

taco-flavored-kisses

@metoometoo: I'm pretty sure that Hollywood deals with this niche like a family Thanksgiving table with a very strict seating arrangement and you're going to have to wait for Diablo Cody to die of a stroke before you can step up

magnets

{insert impressive comment here}

@tunamelt: My only Don Draper fantasy is the one where I slap his remorseless cheater face.

@Jamie: It doesn't seem right to deny anyone their perversions but this isn't the sort of thing I want kids exposed to. I just wish you people would keep it to the campuses of our nation's liberal arts colleges, like if polygamist compounds did ironic freeze tag games

magnets

@Natasha VC: Depp will never be out of my fantasy range!

itsalwaysthequietones

Some of us emo, Smiths-listening mofos like geeky androgynous males. In fact, they are my favorite type of males. And who's to say they can't still fuck you like nobody's business? Just because you cuddle and listen to the Cure after doesn't mean it wasn't awesome. In fact, I submit that for many, that is what makes it awesome. Sorry for being so disgustingly sincere, but it's a topic quite dear to me!

@metoometoo: Only If she's at least an 8.

@metoometoo: But sometimes wouldn't you rather have fantasy sex than fantasy cuddles?

@Natasha VC: Ew, really? Jon Hamm is a hottie, for sure, but the Don Draper type does not appeal to me at all. I'd prefer an awkward, sensitive type any day. But then, I've always had a weakness for guys who are nice to me.

@MoeGolden:

Those are the best girls! But not really a target demo, right?

@rajmahall:

Oh they're great! I'd even submit RDJ! But you know, they're older men. Fathers and such, a bit too out of the range of fantasy. Say with Jake Gyllenhaal, in the Donnie Darko days, it wasn't totally unreasonable to day dream that you could maybe flirt your way into a drink with him at a bar if you happen to bump into him (I know, I know, play along). But Depp, Downey, Clooney are global stars so I find it harder to get hooked by them.

I enjoy the Jim Gaffigans and Eugene Mirmans over the John Krasinskis and Demetri Martins.

I'd submit the following as antidotes to this trend:

Jeremy Renner, The Hurt Locker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GxSDZc8etg

Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Karl Urban, etc., Star Trek:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdneFmLn0Sg

Johnny Depp, Public Enemies:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVzf4HW2zQQ

See, it's not that bad!

@lempha: girls who had flings with their professors.

@Nice Beaver:

Yes! And instead we keep getting the magician in the robe!

@tunamelt:

This is what I am saying. Who knew I'd be nostalgic for an emotionally removed surly male?

@DavidWatts: They can be, just not in Hollywood, apparently. I've (very luckily) met them. I think your avatar is an apt example ;)

BlissSister

Well, every aspiring screenwriter I know is a gentle, sensitive, geeky male outsider with a love of Lou Reed and snug hoodies, so that probably has something to do with it. Except me! Anyone want to buy a screenplay about a sensitive, awkward, hoodie-wearing female outsider?

But aren't these films intended for well-meaning, fragile, cerebral, maladjusted girls with an anemic sexual persona and child-like notions about men? And not "ladies in their twenties"?

lempha

Whither Don Draper?

I wouldn't even call Zooey Deschanel a "manic pixie" in 500 Days of Summer because, as the movie actually points out, she was just honest to him about all she was. Everything else he created himself. God, the more I think about that movie the more I hate it.

My thoughts:
Geeky semi-androgynous males are who are writing and producing the films.

This is merely what happens when males of a certain demographic are divided into two categories by advertisers and media executives.

*the MMA-loving, balding, horny, beer-swilling, metalhead, libertarian, dick joke-loving Spike TV fan
*all other males (some kind of Leon Neyfakh/Hudson Morgan/Nick Confessore/everyone who writes for Gawker amalgam)

As someone who has been deep in both subcultures for the past 20 years, I am working on a project regarding this conflict. Leitch can't be the only person like me.

Where have you gone, John Larroquette? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

At least I still have my Californication and not this sissy emo crap

BullionWise

Let me restate that horrible post. Thank God dreamy Jake has BULKED up. Time for some twee hipster ass kickin'

Poppymann

I don't see why one can't be both, in the librarian-pulls-off-her-glasses-and-take... mold.

Thanks God dreamy Jake has buled up. Time for some twee hipster ass-kickin'

Poppymann

I blame Michael Cera for all this.

@cowboytwopointoh: Yes, right here under this meat cleaver.

Queen of the Passive Aggressives

Zombie Burt Reynolds to the rescue.

"Sorry Ma'am, I've got the work order right here, from 1985, and well-meaning, fragile, and cerebral are all checked-off as primary desired traits. So, you can't return 'em, but you can order some more. By the way it's gonna take another 24 years."

Maybe related joke:

What advice do you give a woman with two black eyes?
Non. You just gave her two words of advice.

Any of you ladies want my digits?

cowboytwopointoh

Trust me, they're regular boner killers too.

I'm a huge fan of Michael Cera. His range is unparalleled.

Hm. I'd rather sack away and throw up.

I hear Ryan Reynolds is available again.

rubyruby

So does this mean I should buy something other than corduroy for the fall?