“The King Of Pop Is Going To Lick Your Lollipop”

When a celebrity dies, all manner of thoroughly libellous stories tend to begin showing up in the press – and with no one around to dispute the shocking claims or offer explanation, one is left to assume that Michael Jackson really was the kind of closeted homosexual who’d use the phrase “The King Of Pop is going to lick your lollipop” during sex with menfolk.

Urgh, I feel dirty even typing that. Let’s take a look at the smh.com.au article that inspired our headline, eh?

Michael Jackson had a string of gay lovers, a sensational new book being rushed out following the pop singer’s death claims. Biographer Ian Halperin says that “virtually everybody” in Jackson’s inner circle knew he was gay. Halperin told The Sun newspaper in Britain how he interviewed two of Jackson’s alleged male lovers, with one claiming the pop star would sneak out of his home dressed as a woman for late night rendezvous.

One told Halperin: “The very first time he had sex with me he said, ‘The King of Pop’s going to lick your lollipop’. I still laugh thinking about that.”

Was he saying it to be funny? Because I’d prefer to believe Michael was just taking the piss out of his Jesus Juice/Duck Butter reputation by using that line, and everyone knows that nothing gets potential lovers in the mood faster than a perfectly executed one liner.

One unnamed source is quoted in Halperin’s book as saying Jackson’s lovers included a waiter, aspiring actor and construction worker.

Defamer Australia is less than proud to exclusively show you a photograph of Michael’s lovers.

Ahem.

“Michael would leave the house in disguise, often dressed as a woman, and would go to meet his boyfriend at a motel that was one of (Las) Vegas’s grungiest dives,” the source said. “Michael was broke. He struggled to put food on the table for his children. It was all he could afford then.”

Erm, I think I’m going to file this story away in my Opportunistic Bullshit folder. Which doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it! I’m adding the lollipop line to my first date repertoire, and by “first date” I mean “how I prefer to pay for cabs around town”.

MORE: Jackson ‘had gay lovers’