Blog Asks: ‘How Will Michael Jackson Appear In Heaven?’
Since Michael Jackson died you’ve probably lost sleep wondering, “I wonder what he’d have looked like if he hadn’t f-ed himself all up with plastic surgery?” Well now, thanks to the work of some forensic artists, you can know.
The blog Next Nature, which describes itself as a site devoted to “nature caused by human culture,” asks the question: “How will Michael Jackson appear in heaven?”
Using childhood photo’s of Michael and knowledge on basic aging trends, forensic artists constructed a portrait of how Michael would have looked at age 50, had he never undergone plastic surgery.
All of this leads to yet another question, assuming, of course, that there actually is a heaven that God’s finest peoples ascend to—What physical form do we take when we get to heaven? Do we appear as we were at the moment of our death, or do we revert back to a time before aging, disease and disfigurement may have set in? Or does God let us choose which physical form we’d like to take when we arrive?
Frankly this is a question I obsessed over when I was a wee Cajun lad growing up Catholic in South Louisiana. I bugged the hell out of my mum and cathecism teachers and just about every other adult I suspected might know the answer. Never did I find one (Naturally), which is one of the many reasons I’m agnostic today.
How Will Michael Jackson Appear in Heaven? [Next Nature]
via Justine Bateman’s Tumblr
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Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)
He will appear exactly as he always wanted to appear. In other words, when Liz Taylor dies they'll need to wear nametags.
Keepin' it klassy.
Come on. We all know. Just look at his brothers, like Jermaine.
Duuuyhhhhaaaaa.
As for Hell, everyone who died in the 70's has avocado appliances and curling iron bewinged hair like Mariah Carey wore at Jackson's memorial service. They watch endless loops of Hello Larry.
@Claire Buoyant: That sounds like a Twilight Zone episode, where at the end the man surrounded by furries realizies he's in hell.
NotSafeForLife
i saw this in a newspaper about 6 years ago. I live in the UK, and it was a story that long ago.
marfin
@Claire Buoyant:"Maybe heaven is full of furries."
I always thought heaven would be a warm and fuzzy kind of place.
rudi_freude
Wait, I'm confused. Terri Hatcher is really a black guy?
TubOfHowardTaft
So basically the question is does Heaven operate on Darwinism or LeMarckism? That will blow some Creationists' minds.
this would also assume that he never had vitiligo either, right?
If you went to Heaven with your decrepit body as it was when you died, it wouldn't be Heaven, would it? I say you get to choose. I want the Greek god-like body I had at age 20, please.
Are the white robes out? Maybe they decided they were using too much bleach.
anyonecanwhistle
@Pope John Peeps II: scary!
anyonecanwhistle
I don't know about physical form in heaven but I know about physical place, which is you're not going to be in the best seat. Jesus is hogging that one.
Is Helen Keller blind? Does Marie Antoinette have her head?
And what about the ability to accessorize?
@raincoaster: It was from the August 28, 2008 edition of the U.K.'s Daily Mail: http://bit.ly/1SG4p1
I have it on good authority that while you are processing you get to choose up to five different looks. It's kind of like selecting from thumbnail options when you post a link with multiple photos on Facebook. I'm going to choose the 1977 Chillbear where I had a "Star Wars" hair cut and a wee white Saturday Night Live leisure suit. There's not enough Retro in heaven.
@Foster Kamer: Make that changeling!
"Using childhood photo's of Michael and knowledge on basic aging trends, forensic artists constructed a portrait of how Michael would have looked at age 50, had he never undergone plastic surgery."
Yes, they did. They constructed it several years ago. I recognize it even though NextNature didn't credit the original source. It's even on my blog somewhere, although since google hates me I can't find anything there.
@Foster Kamer: I commented but it seems to have disappeared into the void? New technical problem?
Looks an ironic amount like Martin Bashir:
Hello God, are you there? It's me, shapeshifter.
@Mick: I demand they project what Corey Feldman would look like without the sleepovers and Jesus juice.
Too soon?
Iwillnotauditionforastar
@jorel845: Wrong! Still ugly!
Barret Lee Fisher
Assuming there is a god and the Christian concept of Heaven is correct, doesn't it further beg the question would such a old/ new testament deity allow a pedophile into heaven? Or does the gift of music eradicate moral misbehavior?
pony_express
I'd take my Jackson up till the Thriller album. After that, the destruction of his face was just too much for my brain to comprehend or care about.
Mick
Or does God let us choose which physical form we'd like to take when we arrive?
Well, the Internet lets you choose your own avatar, so in that respect the Internet is better than heaven, yes?
Maybe heaven is full of furries.
I imagine he'd be a bit balder, given Joe Jackson as his father. But this is creepily spot on. Forensic Michael is so hauntingly familiar given how Jackson looked pre-Off the wall in photos, seems like an old friend.
jorel845
@Aaron Altman: I think it's older than that; the DM doesn't say they originated the photo either, and they don't credit it. God, I wish I could find the original.