Don’t Say We’ve Never Said A Nice Thing About Tyler Perry

Uma Thurman, Nicholas Cage and Tyler Perry are all things that won’t win them automatic scorn. This is progress. Also, Martin Sheen may get the chance to be in charge of freedom again. Finally.

Here’s a really titillating piece of news! Columbia Pictures is in early talks with Nicolas Cage to play the gangster villain in The Green Hornet. Cameron Diaz is negotiating to play a reporter and love interest in the Michel Gondry-directed pic that stars Seth Rogen as the masked crime fighter. I just want to make sure that registered with you: Nicolas Cage will be emoting for us whilst wearing some kind of tight fitting costume. We’re sure you’re titling too. [ Variety ]

New deals are coming in on the Monetising Childhood Nostalgia front! John Fusco has been tapped to breathe new life into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He also wrote a redo of The Seven Samurai for the Weinstein Co. His other credits include Hidalgo and Young Guns. Next up Diablo Cody’s remake of a sassy outsider who wears a strawberry beanie and smells like shortcakes! [ Variety ]

Despite a fast-approaching Thursday filing deadline, the two factions within the Screen Actors Guild have continued to keep their slate of candidates for the guild’s September elections under wraps. Well, one thing’s clear Martin Sheen’s arse better be filling one of those slate spots because I need some new material for my West Wing fan fiction livejournal! [ Variety ]

Ugh, when is someone going to give K-Fed a reality show so we can see what’s up with him and Britt’s kids? Oh wait! [ E! Online! ]

Remember that sad story we told you about the group of black kids who were turned away from a swim club pool because the club’s owners feared they would “change the complexion of the pool”? It’s ugly stuff. To make matters less ugly writer/director Tyler Perry has offered to send the 65 kids from Philly on all-expenses-paid three-day trip to DisneyWorld. And that’s the last nice thing I will ever say about Tyler Perry. Are you happy morning news round up? You’ve broken me! [ People ]

Speaking of celebs stepping in to rescue sad children: Uma! Uma Thurman is set to star in Girl Solider an indie flick about a radical cleric who helps rescue 140 schoolgirls abducted in Uganda. Story’s based on Kathy Cook’s book “Stolen Angels,” which follows the 1996 raid at a boarding school, where a band of armed rebels abducted young girls to turn them into soldiers and sex slaves. So there’s that. Have a great day! [ Variety ]