Chopped Onion Makes Us Cry
Well-played, Onion tipsters: That rumour we heard last week about a possible Onion buyout announcement Monday? It was insiders who lulled us into promoting their new we’re-selling-out-to-China issue.
Onion CEO Steve was not a fan of our early reporting on the Onion’s closure of its San Francisco and Los Angeles editions; we don’t expect he particularly appreciated our reprinting of a memo in which he told staff they needed to kowtow to advertisers.
Now the paper seems to have tricked us into running not one but two items about rumours it was going to sell. Who knows if their new owner, the Yu Wan Mei Amalgamated Salvage Fisheries and Polymer Injection Corp., made a better offer than Comedy Central, but we did laugh at this line: “Experts all agreed that there can be no question of this claim, as this claim is the truth.”
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Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)
Wei?
GORDONGARTRELLE
@Astigmatism: I'm ordering some metal fun and Yu Wan Mei Miscellaneous Flavor Paste as we speak.
@scroll_lock: I call you "killer" 'cause you kielbasa me.
@Aaron Altman: You running dogs, you.
@SpyMagician: I'll be sure to tell my avatar about your brand loyalty, SpyMagician.
@Aaron Altman: Nah, I'm just being a brat- I'm the wurst.
@scroll_lock: Yu Wan Mei get outta here?
I am such a lazy internet commenter! My fat sausage fingers can barely type and they stick to the keys because they are coated in chocolate! I am so insolent and lazy on the computer during work! I don't have the discipline to work for Zhu-Lei Corrugated Siding and Plastics, a division of the Yu Wan Mei Group, where a team of skilled engineers work tirelessly to create high-quality, affordable products and services....
o-line
@Aaron Altman: Slow down, I can't ketchup with you.
@hilikusopus: Nothing personal, but I am more of a Mee Kno Wan Yeu kind of guy, Jean.
@scroll_lock: "We Answer To A Higher Authority, Or Whichever Dude Has The Bullhorn."
@Aaron Altman: Stop reminding me of my pitching career with the Hebrew Nationals.
A Pearl Of Wisdom Can Only Succeed In Breaking A Tooth Once Ensconced In A Frank Furter.
@SpyMagician: More to the point, whatever Yu Wan Mei says.
@hilikusopus: Whatever you say Onion Fat Lady.
@SpyMagician: Why don't you ask Yu Wan Mei, yourself?
Contact Us
Yu Wan Mei P.R. China 643000
Sichuan Province, Zigong, Yantan, 9th Building, Rm. 240
Yu Wan Mei
China
Tel: 1-800-YU-IS-FISH
Fax: 0086-885-3256821
Email:
info@yuwanmei.com
careers@yuwanmei.com
report@yuwanmei.com
Hmmm. Did you notice that the website for "Yu Wan Mei" was created on May 12, 2009 way in advance of any of this? Planning ahead of time for a real sale? Smokescreen in anticipation of something else?
Also, this past spring did indeed see lots of long-time Onion folks let go or encouraged to leave after years of service.
Pretty sure folks weren't losing their jobs just for a one-time joke.
A Modest Proposal for the All Knowing People's Republic.
This will be even funnier in a few months, when the company actually does have to be sold.
OK, but seriously? This is the funniest The Onion's been in years. The Yu Wan Mei website is going to get me through a slow workday today.
Astigmatism
Girl, China May Have Fortune Cookies But Cannot Sex You On A Plush Round Bed
@hilikusopus: Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah...!!!!!
Muahahahahaha!!!!!
Smoove Sellout
humor is now being offshored and rightsized
Onion 壹, Gawker Media 零.
And sometimes the panda bites you.
zombie_dola
Area Internet Commenter Confused
@The Sneak: Did they rehire everyone they let go in the Spring 2009? Now that would be an elaborate joke!