Welcome Back To My Heart, Sonia Kruger!

Remember during last year’s Big Brother when Sonia Kruger gave Defamer Australia a nice shout out on the radio, and we were all “WE LOVE YOU, SONIA! WE ARE YOUR BFFS FOREVS!” and then basically we spent the rest of the year worshipping and defending Sonia? Somewhere along the line we got distracted by Natalie Bassingthwaighte’s psychotic eyes and Facebook friendship, which led to yesterday’s remark that The Bass was our new showbiz BFF.

Well, guess who just got in touch?

OMFG!!!!!!! TINA SPARKLE EMAILED ME!!!!!! FROM HER WORK ACCOUNT!!!!! JUST LIKE LARRY EMDUR!!!!!

I thought that we still WERE BFFs!!

I’m heart broken – what have I done?

Surely there’s room in your heart for The Bass AND I?

Yours in sadness,

-Sonia

You didn’t do anything, Sonia. I thought you stopped caring about me! And then The Bass made me that YouTube clip/infomercial and sent me a signed copy of her tribute to amyl nitrite, and I simply took celebrity love where I could find it, you know?

In answer to your question, no – no, there’s not enough room for you and The Bass. I can only have one celebrity BFF (and one celebrity work experience kid, which is Emdur) or else the position won’t be worth fighting for! But you’ll be pleased to know that by reaching out through the magic of email, you’re now number one with a bullet in the chart of my heart.

So chin up, Sparkle! We’re besties again and the world is a grand place once more!

PS: Your move, Bassingthwaighte.

PPS: Television types may want to contact me about the possibility of turning Defamer Australia’s Celebrity BFF into a reality show a la Paris Hilton’s ridiculous program. Possible replacement for Big Brother? Think about it.