Watch The Fox & Friends Try To Process The Bruno-Eminem Stunt

I think we've ascertained that the Fox News core audience consists of approximately "...four depressed masturbators."

Why should their morning hosts be any different?

@scroll_lock: You call Mr. Murdoch's thing "the lemon" too? I heard Wendi has to call it "the kumquat," or she doesn't get her monthly diamond tennis bracelet.

@scroll_lock: That sounds like the only army I'd like to join.

@Spirit Fingers: That's one way to raise an army of purple-headed warriors!

I like how the one guy apparently played the sequence of events in his mind of sticking it out while the "gay hairdresser" uh, went down on him.

@BookishLookish: And the only sucking she's ever done is on a lemon, by the looks of her.

@BadUncle: I know - and they were all offering to touch up my roots since they could see them from up there. The nerve!

@scroll_lock: It's all short skirts, big smiles, no back talk and make my dinner at FOX.

@BookishLookish: While she's making his coffee, that is. She knows her place!

"Hairdressers". Priceless. It's not that they're not almost 100% gay -- it's just kinda of funny thing a dad from the 80's would say.

@scroll_lock: Or giving her a nipple twist at the coffee machine.

@BadUncle: This just makes me long for the small town values of home.

Banjo-Sea Kitten

@BookishLookish: She fantasizes about Bill O'Reilly fully attired, winking and calling her "babe".

@scroll_lock: Uch, that farbisseneh and her disapproving scowl. It is just amazing that there are still people who are so incredibly square in the world.

@Spirit Fingers: Evil. Genius.

And Gretchen, dear, you call that belt a skirt? Did your gay hairdresser pick that out for you?

(because clearly all gay men are hairdressers and all male hairdressers are gay)

pattycakes

I'd just like to know if this is the Conservative Kryptonite? Will flashing a little cock and balls render all of them dumb and speechless? Because if that's the case, there really should be a way to make cock and balls happen on an hourly basis over there. I'm thinking it could actually be successful, as there would be no shortage of volunteers, Ball-Cock sentries, if you will, and I'm thinking spewing hate could become rather dangerous while surrounded by undulating cocks. The possibilities are endless...cock smacks across the nose-bridge if the rhetoric gets too crazed, One Eyed Willie Indian burns for unruly republicans. Everybody wins.

Spirit Fingers

Gretchen, I'm not wearing pants!

All I can say is Sinatra would have NEVER agreed to this.

Mymoustache

Maybe because he just performed recently?

I guarantee that uptight peroxide job sitting there believes in sex once a year for procreation only.

"He's going to land on me so I'd stick it out"

trucha

@Mikey-B: better than reigning men.

nehru

@Mikey-B: A-men.

Superb, Richard.

Lmao.

"C'mon Mr. Eminem, let's go!"

He desperately wants to be Eminem's daddy.

So the folks at Fox News have a hard time distinguishing between a hoax and reality? Meaning that they tend to believe, unquestioning, what they see on the teevee? Jeepers, considering their clear-eyed reporting over the past 10 years, who'd'a thunk it?

I'm feeling sorry for these people. This is meant to be the younger/fresher face of Fox?

monoverb

@RhubarbPlatypus: That makes sense. Sacha Baron Cohen works by making reasonable requests of people, then putting his hyperbolic characters into what would otherwise be uneventful situations.

sample032

Watching this clip, I thought Gawker had found a way to magically transport commenters to a backyard barbeque party in the suburbs.

@BadUncle: It's raining men.

I can't count the number of gay hair dressers I saw being lowered around Manhattan today, like so many safes and pianos. There must be a moving service that specializes.

It scares me to think this is the type of conversation they have around the Fox locker room. I bet they all took a cold shower after that! (Together.)

cdmunch

Amazing. "Well, you call a jockstrap a pant?"

Eminem knew that Bruno was going to land on him. I doubt he was warned that his balls would land on his face though.

RhubarbPlatypus

@JohanPaladin: I know, these guys work in television? what a bunch of maroons.

Hysterical. You couldn't write that shit any better. It's like they acted out something out of Richard's head.

freedc

@Steverino Begins: Ditto that- the pattern has definitely been that when you shine a light into the dark, private corners of Wingnuttia the true core principles are "My Morals and Values, for Everybody Else". She fucks like a donkey, I'd wager.

Let's stick it out, bitch.

@scroll_lock: I disagree. These people are usually total hypocrites. I bet she has a swing in her basement.

@cdmunch: [set in shower] "Oh man, can you imagine being Eminem and seeing a fag like that being lowered onto you?"

"I know, can you imagine seeing this right in front of your face?"

"It totally must have looked like that. Revolting. And can you imagine having that fag's legs on your shoulders, like this?"

"Yeah, that's totally sick. Bunch of fags. I mean, if Eminem had accidentally leaned his face forward like this..."

"Yes, thats what the gays use for pants! Its totally normal in gaydom...ness...iety...whatever its called."

Fox hosts are used to their heads being up their own asses, not someone elses'.

Jupiter8

@Mr. Bar: Gayopolis.

ShanghaiLil

@Mymoustache: Brando would've, in a heartbeat.

ShanghaiLil

@BadUncle: Would someone please drop a gay hairdresser on me? It's been awhile, if ya know what I mean.

ShanghaiLil

@Steverino Begins: I wonder if that's how the Teabagging movement was born

ShanghaiLil

The Fox & Friends banter is exactly how I imagine the water-cooler conversation to be at a mid-sized law firm in Oklahoma City.

gawkimo