Today Tonight On Twitter

Look, I don’t want to spend my days alerting you to vaguely amusing Twitter feeds any more than you want to spend your days reading about vaguely amusing Twitter feeds. But by god, whoever is responsible for the Fake Today Tonight account on Twitter is a GENIUS.

Here are a few choice examples of hilarity.

TONIGHT, CYCLING PSYCHOS. ORGANIZED GANGS OF “BIKE RIDERS” ARE TAKING OVER OUR ROADS, PUTTING MOTORISTS’ LIVES AT RISK.

TONIGHT, SHATTERING THE GLASS CEILING. AUSSIE WOMEN PROVE THEY CAN DO ANYTHING MEN CAN DO, WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM THEIR DOCTOR.

TONIGHT, THEY’RE UNAUSTRALIAN UNDER THE COVERS: PROMISCUOUS WOMEN UNDERMINING AUSTRALIA’S SPORTING HERITAGE BY SEDUCING OUR YOUNG HEROES.

CYBER-PREDATORS ARE TRACKING EVERYTHING YOU SAY AND DO ONLINE. TONIGHT, THE LINK BETWEEN GOOGLE AND INDONESIAN WHITE-SLAVERY SYNDICATES.

TONIGHT, FROM TAXI TO TRIAGE: INDIAN STUDENTS ARE FILLING UP OUR HOSPITALS. ARE THERE ENOUGH BEDS FOR AUSSIE PATIENTS? A SYSTEM IN CRISIS.

HELLO TWITTER WE’RE LOOKING FOR A SINGLE MOTHER WHO LIKES A BIT OF A DRINK AND RAPING OTHER SINGLE MOTHERS PLS EMAIL

The whole thing is brilliant, and it’s only been online for nine hours! Whoever is behind it, I salute you.

MORE: Fake Today Tonight on Twitter