The Megan Fox Topless Photos You’ve All Been Waiting For

The week she’s starring in a blockbuster film release, nude photos of Megan Fox magically appear on the internet, Artie Lange is banned from the Tonight Show, Lindsay Lohan goes berserk in a club, and Paris dishes on boning Ronaldo.

• So yeah, it perfectly stands to reason that a set of nude photos of Megan Fox would emerge this week leading up to the release of the new Transformers movie. But hey, I give her credit for having a landing strip instead of waxing her lady-parts bald. Megan Fox gets a gold star. [Daily News and Egotastic]

• Comedian Artie Lange claims that Conan O’Brien’s producers won’t have him on as a guest on the Tonight Show because he’s a screaming alcoholic, which is sad, because we’re pretty sure that the old Conan would have encouraged having drunk guests on his show when it was on in the later time slot. [Daily News]
• Lindsay Lohan, fresh from possibly perpetrating a European jewel heist, went out in the city over the weekend and was seen “acting weird.” Well there’s a shocker! According to eyewitnesses, Lohan walked into The Box and headed straight for the stripper pole, and then she screamed at some random dude. Sounds about right. [Page Six]
• Paris Hilton claims that she and soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo are “getting to know each other” and that he’s an “incredible athlete.” He’s also now probably stricken with every social disease known to modern science, but whatever, he’s rich. [Mirror]
• Entourage douche Adrian Grenier and Twilight star Ashley Greene appear to be boning each other furiously at the present time. [Page Six]
• Here’s a “world exclusive preview” of Sacha Baron Cohen’s new Bruno movie to shock and repulse you while making you feel guilty for laughing at it. [Sun]
• Miley Cyrus was caught making out with some dude in a lake while she was fully clothed but soaking wet. Unfortunately for all of you sickos, all of this was staged. [Daily Mail]
• Jamie Kennedy and a very weird looking Jennifer Love Hewitt were photographed out on the town in London, provoking Perez to make fun of her wrinkles and “saggy” boobs. So sad. [Perez]
• Jon Gosselin went to hang out with the dudes at American Chopper to make him feel like a man again after all the emasculation he suffers through with his wife. [EOnline]