Perez Hilton Is Scared And On The Lam

Infamous gossip monger/dirtbag Perez Hilton has maybe had the worst week of his life. And it’s beginning to show: Perez is blogging scared. Is this the end for him?

Perez (née Mario Lavandeira) got a literal slap upside the head by Will.I.Am’s manager earlier this week, and a few figuratively slaps upside the head by celebrities who once willingly participated in his sadomasochistic, symbiotic celebrity-industrial complex for his poor handling of Michael Jackson’s death. Because of both, Lavandeira’s clearly shaken, and isn’t doing too well. The cracks in his mini-empire are beginning to show. Little of the trademark viciousness or salaciousness Perez typically attracts readers to his site with has been around lately. Take, for example, a handful of the stories he’s posted lately:

- Pictures of Ashley Olson in Paris. Hilton’s sure to point out how nice she was, according to the tipster. He also decries her smoking habit.

- Four lines about the legal documents from Michael Jackson’s unpaid pharmaceutical bills. Where’s the trademark Hilton “zinger” in this one? His kicker: “The case was dismissed a month later, probably as the result of a settlement.”

- “NBC To Celebrate Ed McMahon.” Again, a tone of reverence and sadness. We’re talking about Perez Hilton on Ed McMahon, here.

- Fanboy pieces about a prequel to Inglorious Basterds in praise of Brad Pitt, as well as one about Madonna’s new album title. Whee!

- Oh, and: projecting much? “Still More Work Ahead For Equal Rights” was the site’s third post of the morning. It’s Perez piss-poor populism in taking on an LA Times poll about California’s gay marriage laws.

Since his poor handling of the Jackson story, people have been taking him to task. And not just people! But celebrities, who’re just like us! They can’t stand Hilton, either. Pete Wentz thinks he just needs to own up to getting the story wrong:

While John Mayer just thinks he needs to go away:

Perez is doing a bunch of “spin control,” running his operation on a very tight, Press-y leash. Especially on Twitter. Now that he’s alienated the gay community – even Matthew Shephard’s mum won’t take his money – he’s sending the only people he has left – his deranged base of hardcore fans plenty of cited messages on Twitter, highlighting and encouraging what little support for him is out there right now. He probably needs it, since advertiser money for his slightly more “family friendly” operation is going to be scarce after his very public PR fiascos.

Truth be told, Perez, cockroach that he is, probably isn’t going anywhere any time soon. While more efficient ways of consuming the most brainsucking news out there surely exists, we’ve sadly let Perez become a brand name for gossip – like Coke, or Pepsi – and it’s going to stay that way until someone’s writing white lines over pictures of his faked real death or whatever. In the meantime, some of the things he prides himself most on – his celebrity “friends,” the support of the gay community as someone of significance – have taken a hit past the point of no return, and there’s surely more where that came from. As we all well know by now, Karma – like Perez – is kind of a bitch.