Leonardo DiCaprio Just Can’t Stop Kicking Supermodels To The Curb

@BookishLookish: So nothing new for me to learn, eh?

kneetoe

@Mama Penguino: What are YOU doing here?

She probably wanted him to convert.

If Bar wants to get married so badly, she needs to find a guy with fewer options.
No three words sends a hot guy running faster than "Let's get married".
Chalk 1 up for experience, hun.

Leo is a mamma's boy; he'll NEVER get married

dirtyperty

@kneetoe: No, men should not read this book, it would give away far too many of our secrets.

@Tammany_Fall: Maybe he would end it all in one big death-jerk.

@Kid Twist: all of the above.

@sweetpickles: Bring it, bitch.

@BookishLookish: Do I also need to read this book, or just find someone who's read it?

kneetoe

@BookishLookish: What? Is this site serious or something? My literary claws are rather dull about now. I'm at work. And it's lunch. This is play time...for most people on the webernets, correct? I will find you later on and step my game up. Promise.

@AndIAmTellingYou:
Say what you want, the man's got balls.

rudi_freude

@Awesome X: I thought it was fantastic. I hate when stars bite the original hand the fed them; it's extremely refreshing to watch someone who's had a decently successful career actually embrace their roots.

Also, he's kind of yummy.

DahlELama

@sweetpickles: This is not a battle of the sexes, nor is it a battle of wits, as I refuse to fight an unarmed opponent. Good luck, honey. Or should I say "player"? Come back to Gawker when play time is over.

@sweetpickles: Your story has grown tiresome. And further, your vision (version?) of the world is one-dimensional and jejune (bonus points for that).

@checkyaself: Yeah. Chivalry is dead and all that, etc.

@BookishLookish: It's that simple. I hate to get into a battle of the sexes on a Gawker thread. But! I used the Eddie Murphy quote because it is funny--a touch mysoginist,o.k.--but very true. Do you think 70 year old rich dudes run around with women half their age because they want to get involved with a new charity? They do because they can. Leonardo DiCaprio can jump into bed with almost anyone until his dick falls off. And he probably will. Because he can. The opposite side of the coin is that a lot of women are attracted to money and power. And they get it by having sex. Because they can. You may start preparing my rice. You have much to learn...

Normally, this whole ninja/Carradine thing would get offensive...but I laughed. Guilty as charged. I'm burning in my special circle.

@kneetoe: Even if he can deliver, I don't see any babies getting fat on what's on that chest.

daveyjonesisdead

@sweetpickles:
Oh my friend what low standards you have for yourself? The I can't help it I'm a man excuse died along time ago.

And I think he did Bar favor because no woman wants to be with a man whose own shit is comprised of changing women every three seconds.

"You have to have a dick to understand this."

No, you have to BE a dick to understand this.

checkyaself

@FattyCatty: This comment caused me collosal embarrassment given the loud snorting that just escaped my nose/mouth.

@misslinda: Pay close attention to the photo linked above..

@Martiniman:
Eventually, Leo got tired of patronizing the same Bar.

rudi_freude

@Kid Twist: I thought all of them were gay?

OrneryBabe

@sweetpickles:

Eddie Murphy's gay, right?

@Martiniman: over the hill. time to move on..

worth79

@BlinkyMcChuck: I thought there were some photos of him in his skivvies with some other boys while back, causing speculation as to whether he is only a virgin with the ladies.
I just don't see how he could stand to be around all that hair she has glued to her head.

pattycakes

@CaptainFantastic: All men want to do it. Some can't. Leo can.

@secretagentman: I think the same thing about Clooney. Just sayin'.

@sweetpickles: "It's a dick thing?" Can't you do better than tranny-hooker-trolling Eddie Murphy?

Egads, young man, you may NOT approach the sensei. You are not yet ready to even prepare the sensei's rice.

@FormerEnglishMajor: C'est classique.

@rockandhardPL: Yeah, I read that...agreed.

@AndIAmTellingYou: What are these rumors, and I am willing to volunteer my services to confirm the accuracy of your investigation.

@sweetpickles: All men want to do it. We don't all act.

@BookishLookish: I remember being given that book years ago and being completely blown away by the insights - I knew I liked you for a reason!

@BookishLookish: From poet of our times Eddie Murphy's "Raw":

"All men fuck other women. We are low by nature
and have to do it. We are men. All men do it.
We have to do it. We are men. It is a man thing.
Men must find and conquer as much pussy as they can get.

Do not think for two seconds that you are the only one your man is fucking. He is a man and has to conquer women.

I see a lot of you good women sitting out there going:
'Not my man.'
Yes, your man too.

If he's not here with you tonight, he fucking somebody.

Because he is a man. It has nothing to do with you.

You can have the best pussy in the world.

There can be a cape hanging out of your pussy with a big S on it.

Your man's still gonna go fuck somebody else, because he is a man.

It is a dick thing. Do not try to understand it.

You have to have a dick to understand this. We are men.

Leo is hella hot and I'd happily investigate for you all whether the rumors about him are true or not.

[stylescenes.latimes.com]

@sweetpickles: Nobody polished your wood either? Too bad.

@CaptainFantastic: What, you think all those gorgeous men living in the Lake Cuomo villa are staff?

secretagentman

@Kid Twist: I used to stay up late to watch Growing Pains reruns for him. Let's just say, Luke Brower and I spent some intimate time together in my younger teenage years.

ms.conniving

@AuntPenny:

I prefer to think of it as a promise... Holding out hope for the end of the wretched Coldplay.

City_Dater

@BookishLookish: Unfortunately true--what the clipper said. That, and we're looking for our next conquest.

Urm, I'm going to disagree here and say that lately George Clooney has started to look a bit wrinkly and weathered, like a regular guy nearing 50, which is fine, but, yeah, he's losing some of that "Wow, George Clooney!" factor for me. And really, do we want a 70 year-old George still talking about the merits of being single? At some point the Hugh Hefner thing becomes quite ick.

Spirit Fingers

@naugahydeinplainsight: It's a good start, but no way he can deliver.

kneetoe

@naugahydeinplainsight: Lulz.

@misslinda: By teen years, I assume you mean 18 and 19 and not any younger because, by law, humans under 18 are not sexually attractive.

@secretagentman: Expound please.

Looks like Leo's off to a quick start on the whole family thing:

@Kid Twist: Nick is the youngest, Joe is the gay and Kevin is the less attractive one. I mean, according to a tween I know.

secretagentman

@Kid Twist:Exactly, but he is a teen hottie. These guys just lose it after a certain age. Sometimes that age is 20. (See e.g., Jonathan Brandis, Kirk Cameron, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, etc.)

@CaptainFantastic: It's better than "rump splitting Lothario DeCaprio."

@eleusiswalks: Yeah, the beer bloat and whiny baby voice just don't gel for me.

Spirit Fingers

@Kid Twist: And in What's Eating Gilbert Grape.

Beauty is the lure, not the hook. And she is young and not devious enough yet to have the skills to reel a man in. Bar, may I recommend this book to you:

[www.amazon.com]

@CaptainFantastic: well you're half right.

secretagentman

@Oy Veh (Informality Reigns):There is a video of this d-bag out there talking to Esquire or Details or something. Please listen to him and you will see why it is impossible to touch this may, no matter how pretty he may be.

That Michael Jackson tour thing will be a catastrophe, but I predict an entertaining one, in a Halloween fun house where the actors touch you kind of way.

Yeah, those? They make Spirit want to hurt everyone.

Spirit Fingers

@misslinda: Oh, yeah, he was a total hottie on Growing Pains.

@daveyjonesisdead: "Because she did coke and all sorts of sex. But me, I'll be a great dad."

daveyjonesisdead

Wow. This is like that Housewives of NJ thing: "I enjoyed doing coke and having all sorts of sex with her, but I decided she wasn't mother material."

daveyjonesisdead

@CaptainFantastic: it's pretty safe to say Clooney is the one man that straight guys can admit is handsome, so he can do what he wants.

I remember about 10 years ago or so (I think it was around the time of The Beach) where pap pics of Leo with a bit of a gut were leaked, it was hilarious. Between that and Tobey Maguire going chubs, it gives us regular guys hope.

@Cheap Shot: Even if your head looks like a cartoon anvil?

@CaptainFantastic: He is less attractive than he used to be back in his teen years and seriously needs to lose the used-car-salesman-moustache, but he's still strikingly handsome even by Hollywood standards. It's the twinkly blue eyes and delicious head of hair. You catching all this Leo? Call me!

@eleusiswalks: same. I don't get it. Maybe in his Titanic days, but he did not age well.

@FormerEnglishMajor: Somehow George Clooney is making it work. But yes, I never understood why Leo was considered uber attractive. He's attractive, but a bit androgynous. Maybe that's George's advantage, he's masculine. /straight dude

When you have tons of cash and power like Leo, the women come to you.

@MisterHippity: Speaking of the moon, his damn head keeps getting bigger. Literally. Leo's not the moon's. The moon is a she, right? Anyway, that might be interfering with his pickups. And perhaps the tides.

Jimmy and Mark-Paul should've rehearsed the whole bit. It was entertaining but painful.

juustuunder

@clipper: Wow, what a charming thought so early in the morning. Did someone ignore the morning wood today?

@eleusiswalks: You're not alone. He totally has fetus face.

FattyCatty

@Kid Twist: Too young, I think. Although I thought the ugly one and the gay one were the same brother.

juustuunder

Sounds like Mark-Paul suffered a Zack Attack.

Is Nick Jonas the ugly one, the too-young one or the gay one?

Am I weird? I've never, ever found Leo DiCaprio attractive. I think he looks like a puffy sleaze most of the time, and when he slicks his hair back he looks like he could be running a deli in Newark.

eleusiswalks

@clipper: Leo's past his peak... at some point it gets pathetic. He's 35 now, and soon he'll be in Ron Burkle "older guy looking for 20-year-olds" territory. Never understood his appeal.

@MisterHippity: you don't have to try all that hard, I meant.

He's been "trying to pick up girls"?

I'm guessing that when you're Leo DiCaprio, you don't have to all that hard. It'd be a little like picking up bowling ball on the moon.

he'd probably just quick Coldplay

As in Nesquik? Delicious...

Really brings home that saying about no matter how beautiful a woman is, some guy is sick of putting up with her shit. Must still be good to be Leo though.

clipper

Can we start referring to Leo as a cocksman now? As in, "Cocksman Leonardo DeCaprio was spotted last night at Bar Refaeli having drinks and a snack after the premiere."

So if Coldplay left Chris Martin, would he quit Gwyneth?

I saw Colin Hanks a few days ago in Chelsea, I guess that's where he was running off to.

Is that Chris Martin quote a threat? I'm reading it as a threat.

AuntPenny

Dear Bar: I'm ready to settle down and get serious. Right now.

good_times

I must admit it; the Mark-Paul-as-Zack bit on Fallon made me giddy.

Awesome X

Miley--Dumping the hot UNDERWEAR MODEL for the virgin-boy? Where is your head?!? You say you want to be treated like an adult and then you go and make decisions like this.

Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)

Could you be a little more specific as to which bars Leo is patronizing? A girl could do okay with Bar's leftovers.

DenOfEvil

Who cares about Leo? Anybody have Bar's number?

Martiniman