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God Texts The Ten Commandments

If you’re not already switched onto the internet brilliance that is McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, head there immediately by clicking on this link. In the meantime, perhaps you would like this fine example of an excellent McSweeney’s list.

GOD TEXTS THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
BY JAMIE QUATRO

- – - -
1. no1 b4 me. srsly.

2. dnt wrshp pix/idols

3. no omg’s

4. no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun l8r)

5. pos ok – ur m&d r cool

6. dnt kill ppl

7. :-X only w/ m8

8. dnt steal

9. dnt lie re: bf

10. dnt ogle ur bf’s m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob.

M, pls rite on tabs & giv 2 ppl.

ttyl, JHWH.

ps. wwjd?

I wrote a McSweeney’s list once but never submitted it for fear of being rejected. Two years later, someone used the same idea and got published and I nearly cried. The moral of the story is – aim high, writers of the world! Aim high and never give up hope, otherwise some coolsie New Yorker who doesn’t need the cred will use the idea you came up with and get kudos for it!

MORE: GOD TEXTS THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

Comments

  • pierluigi

    God didn’t really do this, y’all: he’d never use the proddy version of the decalogue.

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