Britney Rocks Britain With Decadent Sex Parties
Britney is planning the “filthiest aftershow party” to ever hit the UK, Lady Gaga wants to bang all the Jonas Brothers at the same time, Lindsay Lohan is seeking to enter fashion as a “creative consultant,” and the Susan Boyle crazy breakdown story gets even sadder.
- Britney Spears is taking her bondage-themed tour to Europe soon and is rumoured to be planning afterparties in clubs featuring “naked acrobats, topless burlesque babes and dancing dwarves.” [Sun]
- Lady Gaga doesn’t care about the Jonas Brothers’ dumb fake chastity vows, she wants to round those boys up, get them all in a room, and have a foursome with them! [Daily News]
- Human trainwreck Lindsay Lohan is trying desperately to land a gig as a “creative consultant” at a European fashion line, which has caused an uproar among the line’s current employees, some of whom are threatening to quit if they hire her. [Page Six]
- Susan Boyle passed out in her bedroom after crying all day and yelling at Britain’s Got Talent producers before she was admitted to a mental hospital. She was also heard screaming for her cat Pebbles as she was being admitted. This story gets sadder every day. [Sun]
- Winona Ryder said in an interview that she and Christian Slater have signed on to do a sequel of the Hollywood cult classic “Heathers.” [Perez]
- Paris Hilton was kept away from the stars of The Hills on the red carpet of the MTV Movie Awards out of fear that there’d be some sort of catfight break out over Paris recently trashing the show. [3AM]
- Shia LaBeouf is set to star in the latest film adaptation of a John Grisham legal thriller. [Daily News]
- Did you see Cameron Diaz at the MTV Movie Awards? Everyone wants to know what the heck happened to her face! [WWTDD]
- Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, following the lead of Brangelina, are set to adopt a Vietnamese child very soon. [Sun]
- Stephen Dorff has apparently had enough of banging silicone-enhanced Hollywood bimbos and is settling down with his publicist. [Page Six]
britney spears
cameron diaz
christian slater
gossip roundup
john grisham
jonas brothers
lady gaga
lindsay lohan
nicoler kidman
paris hilton
shia labeouf
stephen dorff
susan boyle
winona ryder
- Next Post: Who Are The Tomcat Brothers Making The Hollywood Rounds? »
- « Previous Post: Read WSJ Online For Free
Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)
@I Don't Get It: Must be just after 4:20, 'cause someone's lids can't stay up.
gossipgrowl
@CaptainFantastic: she's just so...unpredictable!!11!
HurricaneEyes
@seachange: I was wondering the same thing. Like, he survived and now he's the gym teacher or something?
@pitviper: There was an explosion (and the cigarette bit is like one of my favorite movie moments ever) but she wasn't covered with like, bits of flesh and brain so THERE IS HOPE!
My guess is he'd be like her imaginary friend/ anti-conscience now that's she's a good/evil successful businesswoman slowly going violently loopy as all the stuff from Heathers eats away at her.
AND I WANT TO SEE THIS MOVIE. So there.
It's actually called a fourgy, Cajun.
Wait, didn't Christian Slater DIE at the end of the first one?
pitviper
@TillieHarper: We the Blah, blah, blah: That muppet had more expressive eyes than Lady whatever.
I am sure Lady Gaga will fuck them, not the other way around.
Rumpelstilskin
@NoelleBlue: Totally chilling. Clutching a stuffed cat, rocking back and forth on the floor of a padded room and sob-singing that dreadful tune to herself over and over and over. Les Miz indeed!
@iplaudius: Not technically a muppet.
A FRAGGLE.
[farm4.static.flickr.com]
TillieHarper: We the Blacks...Niggmata (I Have Holes in My Soul)
@Dr. Nick: And people actually touched each other back then.
@Aidan_: Part Janice Dickenson and part Janice from Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem.
@iplaudius: Yeah, it's true. I was a disturbed kid.
Aidan_
@Oy Veh (Informality Reigns): Sponsored by Cheetos.
@[www.dailymail.co.uk]
@pooks: Google, lots of articles from legitimate press outlets about her.
Lady Gaga is every teenage boy’s fantasy, of course, because every teenage boy fantasizes about a tired used-up muppet-faced tranny.
@bboston88 (star please?): srsly. If Keith is gay I'm turning into a man pronto.
@resipsaloquacious: HAH!
@momof3wildkids: Nope. Gay or straight, I doubt any of them are virgins.
@pooks:That is exactly what I was thinking. I could see that though. A lot of older people with mental issues have short fuses. It is like she is the Diva to put all Divas to shame. She needs to ask for things and use this energy for her own good instead of for tabloid fodder. Drop the f-bomb here and there, but all while requesting a new weave, some coffee with 1/3 soy and 3/4 whole and then punch whoever points out the math is wrong. Just go crazy in a fun way that makes everyone think you are doing it on purpose. Who cares if you aren't SuBo.
@Slap Bet:Was the friend of a friend a man?
@ms.conniving: Why do they feel bad for the gay one?
secretagentman
Touche, my man, Touche!
GetinurGrave
@MsMuffinMcGuffin: really? where did you read this?
@bboston88 (star please?): If they lifted them, why do they still seem half closed? I am so not going to her plastic surgeon!
I Don't Get It
@I Don't Get It: and possible eye lift.
@J. Frank Parnell (PhD candidacy declined): Keith is not gay. Tom, different story. Keith is not, bite your tongue!
If the Jonas bros do not take on gaga she still has a chance with the "3wildkids".
resipsaloquacious
J.D. blew up at the end. So are they going to tell us he didn't really die?
LAME.
seachange
Sure, Winona may get away with it but no way will Christian Slater pass for a high schooler anymore.
Cameron Diaz's face problem = Botox to the forehead with elephant sized syringe.
I Don't Get It
@Adah: There was very little chance this was going to end well. She was born brain damaged plus has learning disabilities. As well, a severe anger management issue which is well known in her village.
@dado: That way, all three of 'em could get in there at once. And probably set up a small table with linens and china and have dinner.
ShanghaiLil
Someone needs to tell Britney about a gentleman named Keith Richards before she starts boasting about filthy aftershow parties...
@bittergreen: What, you didn't find the whole idea of somebody singing utterly fascinating? You're difficult to please...
zibby
@momof3wildkids: Friend of a friend (who's like 28) got propositioned by the youngest one at the Blackberry Storm launch party. So no. I don't believe it for a second.
COME ONE COME ALL to the Britany Spears' After Party, FEATURING: "naked acrobats, topless burlesque babes and dancing dwarves." and a decadent use of cheese wiz. Also all the ho-hos you can eat.
Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
Lady GaGa is totally crazy wild off-the-hook.
@ms.conniving: Well, there you go. Hadn't thought of that.
momof3wildkids
Only in the UK would they have a place named "Southgate, North London". Which is the most interesting fact to come out of the whole Susan Boyle story.
bittergreen
Nothing says "My womb is barren and my husband is gay", like adopting a Vietnamese child.
Way 2 go, Nicole.
@momof3wildkids: Isn't that what the Best Man is for?
Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
@momof3wildkids: You know, people always feel bad for the obviously gay one. But the chastity pledge could actually be to his benefit; he promised not to throw it in some girl, but I doubt them made him promise not to take it himself...
ms.conniving
I think it'd be funnier if Lady Bunny were to conquer the Jonas Brothers.
noni, NO! no sequel! if you do this, i'm going to lock you in a room and make you watch dan waters' happy campers again and again.
rmacy
Oh God. Susan Boyle is going to end up in a mental hospital for the rest of her life, clutching a stuffed cat and muttering to herself "I had a dream my life would be so different from this hell I'm living" over and over until someone remembers to sedate her. Poor lady lost her mom, and knows nothing outside of being the church lady in Scotland. Any 40-something with that background should never be exposed to the British tabloids.
Adah
Heather. Sequel. Sequel to Heathers. Wow. Simply: Wow. May it get shelfed, posthaste.
Oh, poor Susan Boyle... I hope someone at least found her a stuffed animal to hug for a while. The inevitably of this is a bit chilling.
NoelleBlue
Does anyone here actually believe that the first time the Jonas Brothers will have their cherries popped will be on their wedding nights?
Me, not so much.
momof3wildkids