Which ‘Creative/Tech Entrepreneur’ Is Seeking A ‘Muse, Confidant And Life Coach’ On Craigslist?
Looking for a job? Has anyone ever told you that you have muse-like qualities? Do you have a driver’s licence and 8-24 hours free each week? If so have we got the job for you!
This was posted to the Palo Alto Craigslist jobs board yesterday:
Successful entrepreneur in media/entertainment/technology fields seeks intelligent, open-minded, flexible and responsible muse who will be a sounding board for often radical creative idea, story and production concepts, and in time, to become a confidante and life coach to help him express inner motivations within the context of a very complex, fast-paced life.
Entrepreneur has existing personal assistant/executive admin staff providing primary business and household administration services. Ideal candidate would join this team in Personal Assistant role under the close supervision/tutelage of Executive Assistant, augmenting staff and filling in as needed and in accordance with skill set/experience. Responsibilities include supporting business and personal travel, including private jets/ground transportation/hotels; personal shopping/style suggestions; attending (and at times organizing) social/political/business events; recommending (and at times attending) entertainment/dining/ art and music events, valet services, advising/coordinating diet/exercise, handling any small matter that arises, from picking up coffee to coordinating conference calls. Candidate must be able to scale from professional to casual demeanor, and from business to casual dress, and to be able to able to communicate effectively with a wide range of people, from financial executives to fine artists and filmmakers.
Entrepreneur has substantial executive responsibilities that come in fits and starts with existing projects and personal obligations that tie up his time randomly and leave unpredictable blocks of time available, often with short notice of opening slots and closing slots. Candidate needs to be able to be in a position to be highly flexible in terms of availability. As experience and familiarity with entrepreneur’s lifestyle grows, there is opportunity for more hours of work, overlapping more of entrepreneur’s day. Over time, ideal candidate would “shadow” entrepreneur, in both a personal assistant and muse role, handling practical matters as they come up, as well as being a sounding board/coach/critic for ideas both in scheduled sessions and when time avails itself, e.g. during flights.
Ideal candidate has or is getting Bachelors or Masters degree; has knowledge and interest as well as an eye/ear in the realms of art, music, film, video, performing arts, fashion, videogames, interactive online media; is an effective writer and/or sketcher to document/organize ideas; an empathetic listener; tasteful; adept at using computer tools/navigating the Web. Pluses include artistic, performance and/or training/massage experience. Candidate must be comfortable exploring any creative material, including highly personal and extremely dark subjects. But above all, candidate must be the sort of person with a serious passion for a long-term career in the role of providing support for a highly creative, high-end individual who has an extremely busy and complex life.
This is an exceptional position for an exceptional candidate. Compensation commensurate with experience, applicable skill set and fit for the role. If the candidate works out, opportunity for substantial financial growth and first-class perks. An ideal fit will be highly valued. Position will start on a part-time trial basis, and then if candidate is a fit, expand in accordance with scope of role candidate is able to fill. Schedule: initially 8-24 hours/week.
Must be legal to work in the US, have driver’s licence and car. You will be provided with everything else needed for your work.
Respond via email with brief description of how you see yourself as suited for this role and resume.
So do we have any guesses as to who the person that placed the ad might be?
Creative/Tech Entrepreneur Seeks Exceptional Muse/Personal Assistant [Craigslist]
Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)
@momof3wildkids:I don't know-if said "muse" plays her cards right, she may be unfireable. Even with an iron-clad NDA, someone hanging around a "successful entrepreneur" acting as a "sounding board for often radical creative idea, story and production concepts", not to mention "confidante and life coach", is going to know where all the bodies are buried, and that is worth a lot of money. This is one of those jobs that you get $60K a year for while you have it and $180K a year for AFTER you lose it.
This isn't going to end well for the poster, at least not with someone they find on CL.
Matthew_Maurice
@iplaudius: When this coupling eventually breaks off, as it will, this candidate will not be eligible for alimony or other support. She will be the beneficiary of unemployment. Makes financial sense for this douchebag.
momof3wildkids
This is how dorks try to get laid.
You will be provided with everything else for your work. Including monthly HIV tests and a standing appt. at BotoxRUs.
TroisFilles
"Have money, want hooker" would have been just fine.
Could have re-written the job posting much quicker: "Entertainment industry executive wannabe seeks hot mistress. Not too clingy. Must have sufficient qualifications to be employed as a PA as cover. Heh heh, I said "cover"."
BaldwinPeriphetes
This is what marriage used to be for. Hard to understand how feminism took hold, no?
I guess it's assumed the applicant will have excellent ass-wiping skills?
I am not giving that guy a handjob. Otherwise it sounds like a sweet gig- pretty much like my role with my g/f, minus the jets and the 24/7 service.
When you remove the erotic services section, the rest of Craigslist gets infected with these adds. Thanks puritanical midwestern prosecutors!
Oh, that's what they're calling glorified secretaries with "benefits" these days...
@Matthew_Maurice:
No...this sounds like like the type of job where you get a 50 cent bullet or mysteriously "suicided" after you "lose" your job. Any man of substantial means loathes loose ends.
@smithhimself: There's no way he's looking for a submissive. His life is busy and he wants someone else to take charge, for once. Life coach is just code for dominatrix.
sample032
@Flippyjack: Ya.. the first thing I thought when I read this was "bang maid."
notsogreatsatan
Massage experience a plus - I didn't see that coming. Sadly, I know many people with master's degrees who probably would take this job.
czecher
@smithhimself: Yes, I will need someone to rub those strap marks later on today. Does three o' clock suit you? I've got a bottle in my desk...
@BookishLookish:
Actually, you have two crosses to bear, Bookish. The straps digging into your shoulder blades.
@smithhimself: I have found Prada bras to be a little flimsy, I prefer La Perla. Or maybe they just aren't made for girls like me. That's my cross to bear, I suppose.
Patti Stanger could hook him up.
@BookishLookish:
Tailored business suits on the surface concealing Prada lingerie.
Indeed, there is a particular Prada sales woman in NYC who smiles at me like a pit boss meeting a compulsive gambler.
@smithhimself: Hmm, now I am wondering what smithhim's muse would be wearing...
There you go jamie-leigh. Willing to relocate to Cali?
Sir Thomas More
Read the ad carefully, Gawkerites.
"Pluses include artistic, performance and/or training/massage experience. Candidate must be comfortable exploring any creative material, including highly personal and extremely dark subjects."
This is a nerdy rich guy who wants either an S&M slave or mistress. Yes, he'd also like computer skills, but how do you look in calf-length pirate boots and a leather teddy?
Smithhimself would love a muse, but always ends up hiring the practical person who delivers on deadline.
Reminds me of the old joke:
HOOKER: I'll do anything you want for $1000. And I mean anything.
GUY AT BAR (handing her the money) Paint my house!
"...high-end individual..."
Ugh.
When I see the word "muse" I reach for my gun.
@Matthew_Maurice: You may be right. But ugh. You still have to put up with this neurotic asshat for some period of time.
momof3wildkids
Why does everybody assume that this is a male. Why couldn't it be a female Cougar or Puma?
Churchill
Girl could just get pregnant. It worked for Mel Gibson's 'mistress'. These ads are funny to me, the headline should just say "Calling All Gold Diggers!!"
nicoleg666
What the poster really meant:
Entrepreneur has existing personal assistant/executive admin staff providing primary services. Ideal candidate would join this team in Personal Assistant role under (the) Executive Assistant, augmenting needed skill set. Responsibilities include personal entertainment services, exercise(ing) (and) handling small matter(s) that arise. Candidate must be able to "commune" with a wide range of people.
Entrepreneur come(s) in fits and starts randomly, often with short notice of opening and closing slots. Candidate needs to be highly flexible. As entrepreneur's "lifestyle" grows, there is opportunity for more hours of "work." Over time, ideal candidate would handl(e) practical matters as they "come up" and when time avails itself, e.g. during flights.
Ideal candidate is adept at massage . Candidate must be comfortable exploring highly personal subjects. But above all, candidate must (have) a serious passion for providing support for a high individual.
Compensation commensurate with experience (and) applicable skill set. If the candidate works (my) growth - first-class perks! An ideal fit will be highly valued. Position will start on a part-time trial basis, and then if (it) fit(s), expans(tion) in accordance with scope (of my weiner). Initially 8-24 hours/week.
Must be legal.
Respond via email with brief description of how you see yourself (suited).