Palins Offered Bristol A New Car To Dump Levi Johnston
Todd offered Bristol a new ride to get her to dump Levi, Spencer Pratt is the “King of Weed,” Paris Hilton thinks that The Hills is “so lame and fake,” Kate Hudson is travelling with the Yankees to bone A-Rod, and Susan Boyle may be institutionalised very shortly.
- Well ladies, you’ve all been lusting for the Alaskan cock-gangsta Levi Johnston for a while, and now your dreams can finally come true. He and Bristol are totally over after the Palin’s bribed her with a pickup truck or something and now he’s looking to lay down some fresh Alaskan pipe, if you know what I mean. [Daily News]
- Spencer Pratt, the “King of Weed,” has been struggling with addiction problems for years and has basically given up on ever quitting and just gets high all day long. [Star]
- Paris Hilton is no fan of The Hills, calling it “so lame and fake,” and we just think this is beyond hilarious in so many ways that we can’t stop giggling about it. [US Magazine]
- Kate Hudson is most definitely boning Alex Rodriquez. She’s even travelling with him to away games and staying with him in his hotel room and something just seems so utterly perfect about this. [Page Six]
- Susan Boyle may get pulled from the finale of Britain’s Got Talent because she’s cracking the hell up and is driving the crazy train right off the cliff right about now. [UK Mirror]
- Tom Brady says that he is perfectly fine having only one child, therefore he has no plans on impregnating Gisele ever. [Daily News]
- Candy Spelling blames Tori for the death of her husband Aaron, saying that Tori’s elusiveness made him lose the will to live. [DListed]
- Tom Sizemore is still out there doing what Tom Sizemore does—-Getting arresting for hopelessly dumb shit. [Hollywood Rag]
- American Express is suing Courtney Love for over $US300k in unpaid charges to her account. [DListed]
- Coldplay is having to cancel dates on their current world tour because Chris Martin caught the pig AIDS or something and is losing his voice. [Sun]
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Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)
@Private Hangnail: You just made me picture both of them shimmying, which is crool.
Susan Boyle telling people that are bothering her in a bar to F-off doesn't make her sound crazy. It makes her sound Scottish.
SuBo has minor brain damage? Maybe she should consider a career as a financial adviser.
@Private Hangnail: I just don't see her being able to yell that "All right, faggot..." line at Ted, but what do I know--maybe her thespian powers run deep too.
Cajun Boy, it's to early to read the words "Alaskan cock-gangsta" as soon as I open the first post!
A rose is a rose is a rose
And phlox are phlox are phlox
Sometimes I walk on tippy toes
For blocks and blocks and blocks.
S. Boyle
Chris Martin is losing his voice?
Please, someone tell me this is permanent.
irishflyesq
@Oy Veh (Informality Reigns): And stupid the whole time.
irishflyesq
@Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate: In Alaska, the wolves would have eaten her long ago.
Calcutter
@MsMuffinMcGuffin: What did the autopsy say? I'll bet he suffocated.
Calcutter
On Spencer Pratt - He get's high all day long because he gets paid to sit around looking like a jackass! Also, you can't become addicted to weed.
Didn't Courtney go off about her Amex bills a few months ago? Isn't this the stuff she blamed on Mr. Mandy Moore?
@TroisFilles: Nah, I traded that one to Al D'Amato for dinner at Sparks and a handful of Viagra.
I just have this feeling that Levi will NOT age well.
A) HOT at 18.
B) Firmly on the slippery slope at 24.
C) Bald and fat at 30.
Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
@scroll_lock: Her and Simon Cowell should both work on their bust exercises, I daresay.
@Treece: Members Only?
TroisFilles
I got Todd's snowmobile for a pair of speakers and a leather bomber jacket.
Oh, hey, Spence and I have two things in common, now. Still, I'm only willing to follow the show indirectly through Gawker.
skippywasserman
@Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate: Yea, right? WTF is wrong with that woman? Even if it's true, you don't say that kind of thing in public about your daughter! Especially not if you want a relationship with them EVER.
Also, Mommy Dearest conveniently neglected to mention that she (Candy) was boning some other guy under her husband's nose, as he slowly wasted away. Nice, eh?
@Private Hangnail: She can back-comb her hair AND eyebrows.
Candy, Candy, Candy, You won't let it go.
@Private Hangnail: I just think that she should SHARE.
Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
I'm liking a pill-addled Susan Boyle as Neely O'Hara in a remake of Valley of the Dolls.
Hey Cajun, here's something you're dying to report on- Ms Spears' time of the ladyhood.
[www.nypost.com]
Yes, I don't know how to email you.
Yes, this is more of a Jezebelly item.
I think Levi should move too
Oliver Davies
I think Levi should move to New Jersey. Stat. I'd like to see him tangle with the Cougars of Joisey on the Housewives show.
TroisFilles
Nice use of the apostrophe in the Palin item.
ohnothimagain
@ShortStaK: My bad.....got no spelling skills....
@easternsike: Why wouldn't you be able to get addicted to week? Of course you can, especially if your mixing in tobacco.
I'm no Dr. Ross, but it looks like Susan Boyle is "plain ol' crazy."
@Oy Veh (Informality Reigns): It's the Redneck Express package!
@TootieFields: Exactly! She's not Miss Marple, for fuck's sake. Regional differences count when it comes to older British Isles ladies.
limber
@Cheap Shot: Agreed, and I have a hard time (no pun intended) believing he knows what to do with aforementioned (again!) cock.
@irishflyesq: And THIS is what makes him seem so unattractive, IMO. I'd even take him 30, bald and fat if he were smart, funny and didn't shave his nether-regions.
Vincent seeks his beloved Catherine.
You do need a moving vehicle to properly dump someone.
kneetoe
@Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate: What next? Cornering Ms. Spears in the shower and throwing tampons at her?