Small Screen

Spinning Off Into Nothing

Dead man walking. Rather, Dead 80’s Blonde Spinoff Girl walking. Tonight’s Gossip Girl features a look back at the youth of Lily van der Woodsen, and sets up a new spinoff. Except, show’s not happening.

Yes, we missed this little (read: HUGE) bit of news last week because I was busy weeping from joy/beauty/soaring heartbreak in the Place des Vosges and nobody else here watches this unfortunate pile of misery and pearls of a TV show, but it does, late or not, bear mentioning.

Nikkie Finke reported last week that the intended 80’s-set spinoff of the high society kidz show has been axed by The CW. So Gossip Girl is left with a bizarro stand-alone episode about Lily’s youthful rebellion in the whiskey-soaked days of rock ‘n’ roll Venice Beach. Which creates something of a sad curiosity—an Olympic stadium half built, only to have the bid go to another city, a birthday cake sitting in the refrigerator even though little Jimmy died in the grain thresher just this morning, a party dress laid out softly on a bed, curtains billowing in the window, while outside zombies devour everyone. Poor Andrew McCarthy just can’t get a break. But Brittany Snow? Consider yourself rescued.

Now, of course, Finke is not the last word on this. People are still acting like the prom queen isn’t dead, and she may not be. But with the CW in triage like every other network, it may be time to face the tough turkey: Gossip Girl isn’t a hit, it’s just a cultural foofaraw. It’s no Top Model, it’s no One Tree Hill, it’s not even Supernatural. So in this day and age, what with the economy and all, a glitzy new wing added to the already empty and echoing Versailles that Cecily von Ziegesar built might not be the best thing toward keeping the monarchy in place. (France!)

So, watch tonight, it could be your first and only time to observe this curious artifact—that lovely new necklace you just bought for charming Miss Marie-Antoinette.

Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)

  • Carol Gardens

    @Spirit Fingers: Brilliant show. Great box set. Just saying.

    Carol Gardens

  • nicoleg666

    terrible, horrible casting. and i agree that the styling of this episode is not 80's, but a 2009 forever 21 version of the 80's.

    nicoleg666

  • Richard Lawson

    @Spirit Fingers: At least Reunion had Will Estes. Rowwrr.

  • Spirit Fingers

    @Carol Gardens: I never really watched it. And it went off the air before I could get into it. It always felt a little too Wonder Years for me. And by 1999 I wasn't going there. Not when I could watch Dawson's Creek and Felicity. Um, yeah.

    Spirit Fingers

  • QuinnButes

    for some reason, in canada GG airs on Sundays, so i already saw this episode, and let me tell you it was terrible, even by gossip girl standards. The real-time GG stuff is OK, but the spinoff shit is brutal. The styling is more betsey johnson than 1980's, and Brittany Snow is really bad. Also, they have this really young actress playing lily's mother, and i'm not sure she would've aged that much over te course of 25 years. good thing this show is not happening, cause it would be a disaster.

    QuinnButes

  • Carol Gardens

    @Spirit Fingers: Freaks and Geeks!

    Carol Gardens

  • TheAlmanac

    It's always interesting to encounter failed backdoor pilots like this and wonder what might've been...

    Crossing Jordan had a similar "artifact episode" a few years ago.

  • Spirit Fingers

    Well, at least it ended before it had a really strange plot and was just plain silly (see: Reunion [en.wikipedia.org])

    No one's found a way to do an 80's revisted show justice without it being campy. Mad Men it is not.

    Spirit Fingers

  • lackadaisical

    @Richard Lawson: I appreciate your concern.

    I've actually never watched an episode of Gossip Girl in my life, but I just felt the emotion in your words and it touched me.

    lackadaisical

  • The_Rodge

    Brittany Snow is a terrible casting choice! Lily van der Woodsen is beauuuutiful and this girl looks like a troll doll / Olsen twin. Bleck. I hate it.

    The_Rodge

  • MissPeacock

    @lackadaisical: That one line made me laugh more than I've laughed all morning, thank you. (No, thank YOU, Richard.)

    MissPeacock

  • SeaBassTian

    I do not even watch GG and I was looking forward to this.
    Perhaps, it was a misguided attempt to recreate my youth.

  • freewrite

    is that a picture of an Olsen twin?

    freewrite

  • El Matardillo

    @lackadaisical: Jimmy cracked corn, and I don't care.

  • DennyCrane

    Wait ... One Tree Hill is still on the air??!?!?!?? How!?!?!?!????????????

  • Richard Lawson

    @lackadaisical: I'm sorry for your loss.

  • easternsike

    @Carol Gardens: it was?

    easternsike

  • DahlELama

    Eh, I'll say it--I was kind of looking forward to it. Just think of the potential soundtrack!

    DahlELama

  • wickershee

    @nystar2000: no, there is a real finale in a week - gradumication, no less!

  • subpar

    THANK GOD. Tonight's episode looks like a whole new level of kitschy. Would rather watch a Heathers-inspired spin-off.

  • depardoo

    Are you going to elaborate, Richard, or will you leave us hanging? Did you meet someone on the rue des Francs Bourgeois?

    depardoo

  • lackadaisical

    a birthday cake sitting in the refrigerator even though little Jimmy died in the grain thresher just this morning

    How touching, Gawker. I can tell you really care.

    lackadaisical

  • nystar2000

    Good. 'Cause I liked it better the first time, when it was called "Less Than Zero." So do we get a proper season finale for GG, or is this flaccid episode it?

  • Carol Gardens

    Can you review last week's episode? We were not satisfied with your replacement. Too raunchy.

    Carol Gardens

  • TedSez

    If you really want a look at old-timey youth culture in Venice Beach, you should be viewing Lords of Dogtown -- or, better yet, the documentary Dogtown and Z-Boys.

  • Spirit Fingers

    @Carol Gardens: I'll check it out. It'll go on the list with My So Called Life and Thirtysomething. Don't ask.

    Spirit Fingers

  • Spirit Fingers

    @Richard Lawson: Uh, yeah. He was quite the sex muffin wasn't he? But my goodness I get him and the OC kid, Ben McKenzie, confused all the time. (Kid? What am I saying? He was like 28 playing a teen. It wasn't Luke Perry bad, I mean he still had his hair on the show, but still.)

    Spirit Fingers

  • DeikaD

    I saw it last night (GG airs sunday in Canada). God-awful! Witht the exception of Blair's prom dress.

    Oh, and they indiscreetly ignore the whole Poppy-Georgina storyline the entire episode! Lame.

    DeikaD

  • Pepperoncina

    Richard...tell me you watch Supernatural. Just say it. You MUST love Jensen Ackles. I don't mean you should, I just know you do.

  • IKnowThings

    @Spirit Fingers: I secretly liked Reunion. It pissed me off that it was axed without any kind of resolution for anyone. It was a stupid idea to begin with, but they should have at least committed to it if they were going to greenlight it at all. We will never know who killed Sam!

    IKnowThings

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