Put On Your Overalls But Leave One Strap Off, It’s 1992 Again
Oh, so much happens today. A new 1990s begins. Another wonderful movie about smart alec animals lurches into fruition. TNT makes its big, crime-ridden power play. The Real World will soon date rape you. And the clouds of war gather and loom.
Whoa, time warp. Remember those glittery old 1990s nights when you’d watch 90210 and then, right after, there would be Melrose Place waiting for you—a bitchy, bruised little giftbox. Well, in my case, in the early years at least, that only happened if the babysitter let me stay up. But still! We will soon get to relive those old days, only in a way shittier way! At US networks CW’s upfronts in la la land yesterday they revealed that, yes, in fact, the new MP reboot will air on Tuesday nights right after the new, horrible 90210. So let your kids stay up late. Who knows, one day they could grow up to be gossip bloggers. Proud parents! [Variety]
Oh this sounds good. Rosario Dawson has just signed on to play opposite Kevin James in the romantic comedy The Zookeeper. The film is about, um, a zookeeper whose animals teach him how to meet the ladies. Leslie Bibb from Popular is gonna be in it too. [Variety]
TNT is making a play to become the sixth major stateside network, even though it’s still stuck with that ugly basic-cable label. They held their own upfronts yesterday with notables like Dylan McDermott on hand to plug their cop dramas. In the upcoming months we may also see a Steven Spielberg-produced drama about aliens, a drama about a “down-on-his-luck” attorney, and a Kyra Sedgwick/Kevin Bacon-produced drama about a small town Texas sheriff called Zapata, Texas. TNT knows drama! Especially if it’s half-baked brooding crime drama. [THR]
Roadside Attractions has picked up distrib rights to Happy Tears, which stars Demi Moore, Parker Posey, Rip Torn, and Ellen Barkin. Seeing as it’s an indie and it’s called Happy Tears, any guesses what it’s about? Yep. You guessed it. It’s about a wackily dysfunctional family. It comes out early next year. [THR]
Ohhh girl, get your reality on! The 22nd installment of MTV’s syphilis-ridden warhorse The Real World will premiere on June 24th. The season is set in beautiful Cancun, Mexico and, since we haven’t read any news reports about a tanned body full of booze turning up in a ditch outside Puerto Morelos, we’ll just assume that Bryannica’s case is still considered a “voluntary disappearance” by the Mexian authorities. [Variety]
The Sag Wars are heating up again. Which side will you fall on? Will you side with history? Are you willing to die by the SAG sword? Kate Walsh says vote yes. Do you really want to be on the losing side if Kate Walsh is victorious? She’s a bloodthirsty maniac, hellbent on creating nothing less than global chaos and misery, after all. I mean, have you seen that show Private Practice? [Variety]
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Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)
@cocodevaux: Yeah but if it comes down to a choice between marrying me or traveling around the world with the other sideburn king, what will you choose? What will you choose?
No, seriously, marry me--I'm totally in love with you right now.
DahlELama
@DahlELama: god, if only i had the acid-washed jeans and pumps to wear to all those times i was date raped, burned in a fire, the object of creepy lesbian desire, addicted to cocaine, enrolled in a cult, shot in the gut, miscarried, and actually raped ...i would be living the 90210 dream today.
cocodevaux
Just watched a preview of Melrose Place on EW.com...looks like MP is gonna be just as fabulously bitchy as ever! Michael and Sydney are back, baby! Aaaand it appears she's banging his son.
DahlELama
@SuperBien: would michael cera be too old to play ross by then?
@SuperBien: I would actually watch that.
DeltaGuy
@paragrab: Hah. You don't fool me. I saw The Last Picture Show. Every small town in Texas has a girl like Cybill Sheperd who is desperately trying to lose her virginity. I am so there.
what's this bryannica thing?
moosesanddeers
@Senator Sully: If it helps, I'm really, really proud of myself.
DahlELama
@DahlELama: aaaargh. You totally beat me to the punchline.
@City_Dater: She became Sarah Palin's stunt double?
@J. Frank Parnell, PhD: I found it moving, depressing, and incredibly well-acted. I loves me some Harry Dean Stanton.
Also, J. Frank, I friended you for your screen name alone.
@J. Frank Parnell, PhD: Yeah, that's where my grandfather grew up. I agree it is very nice.
paragrab
I have very fond memories of being in junior high and having to sneak into the basement to watch Melrose Place because my parents thought it would corrupt me. And that was during the first innocent season.
MissPeacock
@paragrab: Paris, Texas, is rather nice.
Crikey . . . So I guess in 2014 we can expect a Friends reboot, huh? When this comes to pass, I vote casting Jonathon Lipnicki as Chandler, Dakota Fanning as Rachel, Jennifer Aniston as Rachel's mom, and Judah Friedlander as Ugly Naked Guy . . .
@Fry_Bread_Power: sounds like a 3rd tier Batman villain.
@DahlELama: Been to a Diesel store lately? It's back, baby!
Dr. Doolittle + Hitch = The Zookeeper
@DahlELama: Hilarious!!
Also, Richard, I wore that exact outfit throughout much of the 90's, but you forgot the paisley rayon, patent leather shoes, and extra crispy bangs. Didn't leave home without my Stiff Stuff hairspray.
Spirit Fingers
@rina: Ah, but think of the "See You Next Tuesday" possibilities!!
DahlELama
@rina:
[www.cinemasterpieces.com]
Unless you get out of the resort zone, there's just about nothing to do in Cancun! They're gonna be so bitchy...
Ok, now I'm only going to say this once: There is nothing remotely dramatic about small-town Texas. Ever. I don't care if you are so awesome there is literally 0 degrees of separation between you and Kevin Bacon, you cannot make it so. Nice try, though. Now, can anybody spare me some cash for a bus ticket out of here? What? The bus station closed down? Fuck.
paragrab
"Tuesdays are a Bitch" just doesn't have the same ring to it.
If Sarah Palin was actually Andrea the world would be a much better place.
nicoleg666
I fully hope this means they can give Kindred: The Embraced a reboot as well, since we're going back into the 90's Aaron Spelling vault of great shows.
Wow. Kindred was pretty great, and so sad about the lead character. Watched a marathon on the damnable "SyFy" channel last week and had a ball, though. Didn't even remember that officer Dokes from Dexter was on the show and the mom from Gossip Girl, the one who the failed 80's crud was supposed to be about. We won't talk about C. Thomas Howell and what the ferg has happened to him over the years. Ah, the 90's, where everyone's true age is revealed.
Spirit Fingers
Finally, a sensible theory about whatever happened to Gabrielle Carteris.
City_Dater
I love the 90s, and the 90210/Melrose combo was my favorite highlight. If only acid-washed jeans with red patent leather pumps were still in. God did I want to be Kelly Taylor.
Oh whatever, so did you.
DahlELama
Ms. Dawson is very cool in person. Not like that Lou Ferrigno.
Yes, this sums up my two (count 'em two!) meetings of actors who've actually been in Hollywood.
IS that a current photo of Sara Palin in the first picture? I'm asking this in all sincerity. The context is messing with my head.
wholenuther
@CaptainFantastic: It was indeed Wednesdays.
If I remember correctly, 90210 > Melrose Place was Wednesday evenings. Pick a character's name out of a hat and drink whenever they are speaking. If Brenda makes a bitch face, then "Social!" (everybody drinks). College. Sigh.
@bangers: Not too old, but probably too big a movie star by then to be bothered with TV.
@saintjim: See now, lots of things are desperate about small-town Texas. Just not dramatic. And those girls do exist. In droves. And guess what? They aren't really virgins and they will all readily give you the clap and possibly their third or fourth kid. But they are smokin hot, I'll give you that.
P.S. I used to have a hunting lease outside Archer, where the book was set (not sure about the movie) and McMurtry lived and wrote. It was a bigger hole than where I am now.
paragrab
@DahlELama: i would obviously refuse sideburn #1 & sideburn #2, procreate with crowned sideburn prince facinelli, and marry you. which would take me at least 3 seasons.
cocodevaux
Let's go back even further. It's 1982, Dexy's Midnight Runners are dominating MTV with "Come On Eileen". For two weeks, it was fashionable to walk around in baggy coveralls and a little bandanna around your neck. Excuse me, I have to do a little dance now.