Lily Allen Dismisses Susan Boyle As Just Another Pretty Face

Way to take a stand, Lily. Yes, spearhead that backlash against the ugly woman getting attention for her natural singing talent. How dare she?

Wait, can you spearhead a backlash? I think the Adderall is wearing off.

I really wish I could un-see that picture of Tori Spelling.

atlasfugged

Am I the only one more offended by Tori's face than her massive tit failure?

irishflyesq

Cajun Boy, you should be made a full-time writer here. There, I said it.

And having said it, I cannot forgive you for putting that "Whatever You Like" song back in my head after I had JUST GOTTEN IT OUT after two excruciating months. Before that, it was that god-awful Taylor Swift song.

(On that note, why can't I ever get something good stuck in my head? It'll be just my luck that during the impending robot revolution, Facebook will be able to read our minds and will automatically answer those stupid song memes for us, and everyone will think I have terrible taste.)

PrincessKashmir

@bittergreen: they have different fan bases. Allen has already made it in the larger world of pop music, while Boyle's success is more along the lines of Charlotte Church - this is Britain's Got Talent: it's about a chance for those who ordinarily would never receive mainstream attention getting a shot at it. Allen just seems mean.

once

@Phyllis Nefler: Phyl, you're a doll and I am a big fan, but that scarecrow with two bolted-on tits looks like a semipsychotic, hyperexercising 40-year-old housewife.

@BookishLookish: There will be chaffing. Lots and lots of chaffing.

@BadUncle: Brava! Brava!

True confessions: I think Tori looks kind of great.

@I Don't Get It: Gotcha, love. She would say something like that!

"Hollywood lip monster" is very good.

Oh, Lilly. I used to like you because your music was interesting composition. But it's not like you're Yma Sumac. In fact, you can't really carry much range. So maybe you should stick to the silent octave, for a while, rather than braying in the range of Ass.

Pregnant-looking actress Katherine Heigl has a good reason for demanding a huge salary...adding necessary letters into your surname is an expensive process.

My hear she's trying to get Jake to part with his extra "a" in "Gylenhaal"..although "Heigal" would be the result...

@BookishLookish: Quotes close after that little disclaimer. I was imagining it's the type of thing a total airhead like Kelly might feel the need to explain.

I Don't Get It

Hey Lil, learn from the pros: even Madge knows when to stfu.

@PaisleyPajamas: Makes a nice curse: "I banish you to live twixt the wretched breasts of Tori Spelling for all eternity!" Try it, it feels really good.

@I Don't Get It: "Frenchy instead of Jewy"? I don't get it, I Don't Get It.

I'm not sure Allen's tweet constitutes a "fury of hate." Face it, if Susan Boyle was anything other than a lonely virgin overstuffed sofa with giant eyebrows, no one would be paying attention to her just-above-average singing.

Vic_Damocles

@The_Lovely_Miss_Bronx: I might be wrong, but isn't Lily Allen the former reigning QUEEN OF INTERNET NOTORIETY via her voice? Eh? Anyone?

@bboston88 (star please?): That photo could launch another one of her "comebacks," where she "writes" a book that examines how little girls should just love the skin they're in and not seek the answers to self-esteem from someone holding a scalpel or you wind up with Franken-boobs embarrassing your sappy ass on the internet.

Or, she could just go and get more surgery.

@lobstr:

holy crap

gotta love any caption beginning with "a hurricane of fugness...."

Sorry -- who is Lily Allen, again? And why should anyone care what she thinks?

The_Lovely_Miss_Bronx

@bboston88 (star please?): I'm not sure she got a bad one (and it looks to me like she got a recent re-do). The fundamental issue is that they are too large for her frame. She has narrow shoulders and is way underweight. She needs to pack on some pounds and get the girls downsized.

@Niko Bellic: Hug.

DahlELama

@TheJerseyDevil: Right? I mean when it comes to having vocal talent, Lily is extremely average to poor. Minus the family connections, which at the very least provided her the means to not have to spent years waiting tables while she pursued her record contract, she is just meh. Like seriously meh.

@TheJerseyDevil: She puts out music a lot more interesting then rehashed show tunes.

bittergreen

Tori, please eat. It's the bony body combined with the horrific boob job that makes it a bad scene. I'm shocked that with her kind of money growing up she ended up with such a horrific boob job. Take those puppies out!

DONNA MARTIN GRADUATED! (From natural to really, really ugly fake boobs!)

The_Lovely_Miss_Bronx

Tori Spelling had plastic surgery?

You mean to tell me that Donna Martin exaggerates?

xhack

I think she needs to take the "advice" she gives and apply it to herself. I bet her world would turn upside down.

OprahBabb

Tori Spelling has two kids and is in her mid thirties. Yeah, the boobs are like rocks in a tube sock but she really doesn't look that bad and the suit is cute.

Lily Allen - feh - the most interesting thing about her is her third nipple.

Kelly won't even understand this little dig except that they used her married name again. "It's Kelly KILLOREN Bensimon (pronounced Frenchy instead of Jewy)." Someone should tell her that Bensimon means son of Simon and that she's actually related to Paul Simon by marriage.

Katherine Heigl should go back to the Mormons.

I Don't Get It

@TheJerseyDevil: I can forgive you this comment if you are Whitney. Circa 1987.

I'd think that stating that you are allowed an opinion is unnecessary, but shit... it actually seems to be futile.

Lily's the one only willing to put out there what lots of folks are--or should be--thinking. Not that she has great breath control herself (e.g., her cover of "Up the Junction"). So, good on ya, Lily.

girlhowdy

I think the rainy weather has gotten on everyone's nerves, and Mariah's hair.

Rumpelstilskin

Scientists have proven that 2 people with fetal alcohol syndrome can not be in the same room. This Allen/Boyle spat is just further evidence.

X-tacle

Aw Lil, just do what you usually do when people stop paying attention. Get trashed and fugly.

I think the problem is that Lily is jealous. Lily Allen should be the only ugly overrated singer.

moochyshuckworth

I said this on Jezebel yesterday; Lily Allen. Ur Not Wrong.

BiBiVirtue

@TheJerseyDevil: True. Or 1997 or 2007. But in some pictures of her, and what with all her twittering, blogging, failed tv shows and overall entertainment-industry complex, I think she'd be great for the Liza Minelli biopic I imagine one day will be done.

A121Author

@TheJerseyDevil: Precisely. Also, since we're talking about Britain's Got Talent, I have something I need to get off my chest. The dad from the "Greek Irish dancers"? I would totally hit that. Rrrrrr.

@TheJerseyDevil: Exactly. Who the fuck is she to talk about control with her talk-singing?

jobsworth

Isn't her tirade like just over 140 characters?

I'm not particularly fond of Susan Boyle, but for Christ's sake, it's not like you sound like Whitney circa 1987, Lily.

TheJerseyDevil

I'm imagining T.I. getting the Avon Barksdale treatment in the pen and not really having to sweat any "rules and regulations."

Louisa Lee

Pregnant for? Is this a Cajun expression?

@BookishLookish: But her stomach!