‘Would You Be Willing To Have Unsimulated Intercourse On Screen?’
Peter Greenaway, director of The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, & Her Lover and Pillow Book is casting for a new film. Yes it sounds like porn. But artful porn! The NSFW deets: [Fleshbot]
- Next Post: It’s Official: Roger Friedman Loses His Job Over Wolverine Piracy »
- « Previous Post: Freddy Krueger To Kill Black CW Sitcoms In Their Sleep
Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)
Eh, at least that's better than the normal way I end up in porn--hidden camera on the bookshelf.
Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
Sweet banana creampie, Batman!
Artful seems like a strange way of pronouncing "awful."
"Would you be willing to appear in a shot in which semen leaks out of your vagina?"
For aspiring actresses, this is probably the kind of thing that inspires those "career choice re-examination" moments.
*adds two more questions that should never be asked in an interview to company handbook*
WindowSeat
@Oy Veh (Informality Reigns): Wow, you're either a seriously photogenic love machine, or on an FBI list...
Not The Red Baron
This is going to be one hell of a comeback vehicle for Doris Day.
@MisterHippity: Man, that sounds mindblowingly artful...
Not The Red Baron
@Colonel Mustard: Lulz.
"Would you be willing to appear in a shot in which semen leaks out of your vagina?"
!!!!!
Sadly, if I had a vagina, I would probably be okay with these stipulations.
Is it fine-gauge screen, or wide? Because the wide-gauge hurts and I really don't want those hatch marks on my ass.
@MisterHippity: "Stand-in!"
Instead of a fluffer they have an absorber on set.
I have not problem with the semen coming from my pussy, but I think my cat would be pissed.
@Colander: and why wouldn't you -- or anyone, for that matter?
@MisterHippity: You beat me to this. But the chick from 9 Songs did kind of jump start her career via getting banged on camera for a respected director, so it's one way to go.
@bytememehard: Yeah, I guess the shame is self-imposed.
3. Would you be willing let us shoot a close-up of your anus?
4. Can you pucker your anus multiple times in rapid succession?
(If the answer to Question 3 is "no," you may skip Question 4.)
@Colonel Mustard: cumback?
TillieHarper
@Mary Mouse: Hats off--I didn't even see that coming.
@TillieHarper: Love 'Er Cumback?
I'm sorry. I'm ashamed of myself.
TillieHarper
@Colander: If we're still calling her "the chick from 9 Songs" then...it didn't work.
@TillieHarper: With Six You Get Cumback?
TillieHarper
what no ass to mouth? amateur.
@Colander: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
@MisterHippity:
3. Butt of course.
4. Butt of course. Who can't?
@BookishLookish: ha
@BookishLookish: You're going to want them to tell you the screen size by sieve number. It's the only recognized gauge.
@TillieHarper: Please Don't Eat Out The Daisies
@MrDo: I can't even remember the last time I bought a video that didn't say "ATM" on the box!
You mean to tell me they weren't allowed to ask me these questions on job interviews?
Maybe Billy Bob Thornton and Halle Berry are availible?
@TillieHarper: The Tunnel of Love: Black In White Edition
TillieHarper
@TillieHarper: My Cream Is Yours
TillieHarper
@Colonel Mustard: Teabag for Two
TillieHarper
Does it have to be simulated? I'm available for the real thing...
@TillieHarper: The Man Who Knew Too Much In The Biblical Sense
@Not The Red Baron: Really, just PHENOMENALLY bad taste in men. Oh, and THANK YOU!! :)
Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
@Mary Mouse: Bravo!
Don McKenzie
I can have unstimulated sex at home, for godsake.
@CaptainFantastic: Service-y! Engineer-y!
@Oy Veh (Informality Reigns): so when you found the tapes of yourself, did a thought run through your mind like: "Ah god, my ass looks hideous there. Where did that zit come from? How long has it been there? Damn him for not telling me my ass crack was getting hairy!"
Chumas
Response by your average Hollywood wanna-be/coulda-been starlet, spoken in appropriately breathy tones: "Hey, if I can do it on a ping-pong table, on a chopping block, or on a pommel horse, I have to think I can do it on a screen...so long as we're not talking WIRE-MESH screen, right, guys?"
Why does everyone on the planet assume we Dutch people are happily willing to try ANYTHING and EVERYTHING?
...oh. ...ok, I get it.
Just imagine saying "no" and then getting to have auditions for your "stunt vagina"
katie
is the pay unsimulated? Because if the pay is unsimulated, I say go for it.
MrRewrite
Doesn't every Peter Greenaway film have at least one fat, naked, middle-aged man? It sounds like he's going in a new direction!
SW-2
Why even bother auditioning, when we know the part is going to end up going to Chloe Sevigny?