Who Makes Sad Attempts To Hide Their Drug Problem From Their Kid?
Today we have a prudish girlfriend of an actor, a celebrity couple that has to hide their coke problem from their kid, a rude actress at a movie theatre, and a nasty breakup.
1) “Which Oscar winner’s girlfriend won’t let him get to third base? She’s afraid of STDs.” [NYDN]
2) “Which celeb parents tell their kid coke marks on the table after dinner parties are lines of baking powder used for cookie baking?” [Mirror]
3) “Friday night at The Grove. Movie theatre is packed to see Obsessed. The lights are down, the movie is about half way, when a cell phone stars ringing. Not vibrating, but ringing. One of those really loud ringing ones for people who like to hear it from a mile away. Everyone is looking around to see who the culprit is. This used to be an A list, Oscar nominated movie actress who now really doesn’t work except for keeping her husband glued to her, starts digging through her purse. It is still ringing. She finally gets the phone out of the purse. What would you do if this were you? You would turn it off. Our actress, says, “Hello.” And then has a one minute conversation before hanging up. Yeah, I can’t wait to see her at the premiere of the next movie her husband does, and get everyone to start talking on their cell phones.” [CDaN]
4) “While the breakup of this couple seemed amicable, behind the scenes… not so much. Party 1 blames the other for their career having stalled out while they were together. Party 2 works through friends to warn their ex-mate’s current dates about diseases they may contract through intimate contact.” [BlindGossip]
blind items
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Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)
@misslinda:
"Party 1" is more likely to be Ritchie - his career stalled while Madonna made oodles on tour and had an album that debuted at #1.
Therefore, "Party 2" must be Madonna, warning Guy's new gfs about his warts. No wonder they never ended up having another baby.
Emma Bramley-Kuehnbaum
@stanhalen: "Little man in the boat" is cracking me up so much right now. I hadn't heard that one before, but...yeah.
@lawyergay: does it really matter? who knows what they get up to.
@Zlund: 3rd is the same for everyone, anything down below, but no sex.
freedc
@Zlund: Gay 3rd base is when he starts whinging about his ex. Trust me ... been there, done that, got a shelf-load of the souvenir shot glasses. ;-)
malo-ji
2. Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Although I'll bet the Asian Kid is starting to wise up.
3. That disgusting mess of a clown face, that poster child for botched plastic surgery, Melanie Griffith...TMZ ambushed her leaving the theatre with some other middle aged train wreck, the both of them obviously thrilled to be receiving a crumbs worth of attention from anyone holding a video camera. There's always porn Ladies..You do still have options..
Okay, so maybe it wasn't Melanie, so what. I just can't resist teeing-off on Broads who think carving up their faces to look like Bozo the clown is somehow attractive..
stanhalen
@misslinda: Also, STDs mean you can't hit in the playoffs, so maybe A-Rod left too late?
1. Heath Ledger
moochyshuckworth
@QuarterlyProphet: It wasn't an all out war, and he pretended to care that she couldn't buy another kid. I dunno. I was hoping it was them, the STDs would explain why A-Rod disappeared in such a hurry.
@Lauren Bailey LeRoux: Oops, didn't see you had already said it. I am positive it's her.
# 3 - Melanie Griffith.
@misslinda: That was amicable?
QuarterlyProphet
1) I thought I was fairly savvy, but ... how does one get an STD from third base? Dude has nasty stuff on his hands??
2) I don't know, but that is seriously fucked up if the kid didn't then get cookies as "proof" of the lie.
SaraRueful
@stanhalen: What is gay third base?
@JacquesPaysan: Seriously. Third base is my way of saying "Nice to meet you!"
ShanghaiLil
@lawyergay: Thats the one where strait guys fumble around ham handedly, searching a girls cha-cha for the "little man in the boat"..
stanhalen
If she won't let you get to third base, she's not your girlfriend.
@Lauren Bailey LeRoux: That's what I thought.
1. Alan Arkin
2. Don't their guests lick the table top clean? It's a recession, people.
Rumpelstilskin
4. Reese Witherspoon and her ex-husband Ryan whatever?
GuyBitchy
Wait...what is straight third base again?
lawyergay
@Lauren Bailey LeRoux: My first thought too, but Blix's guess of CZJ isn't bad either.
DahlELama
2. HOLLYWOOD/ALL.
Charlotte Rae's Web
1) Burl Ives
cynyc
3. Melanie Griffith
Lauren Bailey LeRoux
4. Madonna/Ritchie
1) Adrien Brody
3. Catherine Zeta-Jones?
@power_stroke: Thanks for the info ... but I think I'll wait til I get home from work to Google THAT. :)
SaraRueful
@[jezebel.com]
SaraRueful
@Zlund: As soon as I wrote that, I realized I have no idea what gay third base is. Gay guys are more like a Milton Bradley "Simon": a few basic buttons that you hit over and over again in no particular order until someone emits a dispirited noise.
lawyergay
@ShanghaiLil: Wait - which is third base?
@VoxPopuli:
..
And here I thought "having the Yanks over" was a code word for "gay" third base".
..
Kirth
@SaraRueful: 1) It's not common, but it's possible. Google "herpetic whitlow" or "herpes whitlow" if you are so inclined. That's just one example of how hand-to-pussy contact could lead to infection; there are probably a few more.
power_stroke
2. More importantly why is the Mirror using the word cookies and not biscuits? Have the Yanks taken over?
#4 could be Pink
SaudaminiAgave
@BadUncle: The one over by left field, isn't it?
@SaraRueful: Ha! And also eww.
lawyergay
@VoxPopuli: I think it might be a clue... shhhhhhhhhh.....
chiquitabanana
@Lauren Bailey LeRoux: im ashamed to admit it, but i watched TMZ the other day & melanie griffith was leaving the grove after seeing obsessed. hmmm....i think we got her!
onehotmess
4. Reese and Ryan
secondbecky
@DahlELama: CZJ actually won an Oscar, wasn't just nominated for one. Melanie Griffith is a good guess.
@lawyergay: There is no gay third base that I'm aware of. It's either sex or no sex.
@moochyshuckworth: Oooooooooh, that was gutter
@SaudaminiAgave: Since they are back together, I think no.
Charlotte Rae's Web
@SaraRueful:
I have always been under the impression that 3rd base was oral.
Wow. This changes so much about how slutty I thought I wasn't.
snuggleupagus
Why does #3 even have to be a blind item?
burntbread
1) Adrien Brody? He looks like he has some.
2) Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick. Just for a change.
3) Griffith.
4) Gosling and McAdams.
Wannabeer
@snuggleupagus: When I was a kid the "bases" were "French, feel, finger, fuck." Oral? I guess that could get into a whole Clinton-era debate about whether oral sex is sex.
SaraRueful
1. I was thinking Philip Seymour Hoffman, but the use of the word "girlfriend" threw me off. So I'd guess Emenim ... he did win an Oscar.
2. Nicole Richie and Joel Madden. We know she doesn't bake. Or eat.
3. Julianne Moore.
4. Miley Cirus and Nick Jonas.
mbuki_dru
"Friday night at The Grove. Movie theatre is packed to see Obsessed"
What the hell's happened to nightlife in LA?
@taraniso: real nightlife doesn't start til 11pm at least in LA. Gots to pre-game somewhere!
Also, grove theater is ALWAYS packed...