Tony Stewart’s Defence Is So Goodrem

What a morning! Two of my favourite things in the world appear to have once again come together in a gripping news story about former MP Tony Stewart’s court battle against the NSW state government. Stupidly named legal strategies, and sickie-throwing Australian popstars? Please, do go on…

Sacked minister Tony Stewart insists the female staffer who accused him of bullying was so starstruck by Delta Goodrem her evidence cannot be believed. The “Delta Defence” is contained in a statement of claim lodged by Mr Stewart in the Supreme Court as part of his lawsuit against his own State Government.

It’s like something out of Boston Legal, but with slightly less sexual harassment and gun shooting.

Mr Stewart was sacked as a minister after his staffer Tina Sanger accused him of bullying and assault at a charity dinner on October 22. Goodrem performed at the Garvan Institute dinner and was seated at the head table with Mr Stewart and Ms Sanger, a cancer policy adviser.

And it was at the head table that Tina Sanger alleges Tony Stewart bullied her, putting his hand on her knee so she couldn’t get up and walk away from his abusive assessment of her work performance.

The court documents allege that Ms Sanger was not only in “awe” for the whole night but “starstruck” by Goodrem, to the extent that she photographed her performing. And now Mr Stewart’s lawyers have argued that, for that reason, the Government’s investigation into the case, headed by QC Christine Ronalds, should have found Ms Sanger to be “confused and discounted her evidence accordingly”.

I like that this case could prove once and for all whether being a fan of Delta Goodrem means you are a confused individual whose word cannot be trusted in a court of law. I’m wondering whether the Delta Defence could work the other way, you know? Like declaring the temporary insanity that resulted in you committing a crime was directly caused by your love for the song ‘Mistaken Identity’, that sort of thing. I can’t wait to try it out! Who wants to join the legal team?

MORE: Sacked MP Tony Stewart sings the Delta Goodrem defence