Big Screen

Tom Cruise Hasn’t Met A Script He Hasn’t Asked To Be Rewritten

There is little good news anymore. Today Angelina Jolie signs a pact with the devil, as does Walgreens. Tom Cruise can’t pick good scripts, and Dimension keeps puttering along.

Now she’ll really be considered a serious actress. Action heroine Angelina Jolie has inked a deal with Fox 2000 to star in a possible movie franchise based on the searing, probably-some-kind-of-award-winning mystery masterpieces written by our finest authoress, Patricia Cornwell. [Variety]

Every movie Tom Cruise ever does needs to have a big round of script doctoring. Which, you know, says something about the kinds of movies that Tom Cruise does. [Variety]

Anthony Jaswinski come on down. Your script Kristy has just been picked up by Dimension, and the all-star producers behind such hits as Martian Child, Miss Potter, and Secondhand Lions will produce the college campus thriller. Movies! [Variety]

Booooo. NBC has once again messed with Kings, their weird series about kings and stuff that no one watches. The actually pretty good show has been pulled from the schedule, of Saturday night no less, and will return on June 13th. In the wasted heat of summer. Sigh. [THR]

Do you already feel like a superhero when you shuffle your miserable bathrobed self into line at Walgreens? Well get ready to feel extra fantastic then, because the CVS for sad people has just inked a merchandising deal with Marvel. [THR]

Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)

  • sparkyl

    AngieJo as Scarpetta, skulking around in a morgue? please.

    sparkyl

  • mslewis

    Well, I really don't like Patricia Cornwell's "Scarpetti" novels because they're too graphic; but I do love Angelina Jolie so I definitely will see the movie(s). From what I remember from the two novels I did read, Angelina seems like a good match for Scarpetti.

    mslewis

  • Pamela Strangeways

    Duane Reade is the depressive CVS for sad people. Walgreens is the Duane Reade for the intellectually challenged.

    Pamela Strangeways

  • bytememehard

    @mslewis: You don't like Patricia Cornwell's "Scarpetti" novels because they're too graphic?!?!?! Jesus, honey. What about because they are anathema to literature?

  • lurkystars

    I so cannot stand Tom Cruise, and this news just cements if further.

    Even in watching The Outsiders for the millionth time, I have to fast forward through his scenes - even though I don't think he speaks in any of them.

  • Spirit Fingers

    Erm, Walgreens and Marvel. I mean will there be a new line of heroes based on laxatives and Vicks Vaporub? This is fear inducing. I'm having visions of an aged person donning Depends, Dr. Scholl's foot inserts, and those pharmacy brand reading glasses, with dueling kinetic powers of prune juice blasters and expired candy corn grenades. Bob Newhart to star.

    Spirit Fingers

  • PootyT

    what, he's not going to spell it Khrysti? because i would watch that.

    also: i think jezebel banned me because i called mischa barton meth face yesterday. OOPZ! good riddance.

  • kpburke

    I love Kings. I can't believe they're moving/canceling it.

    Let's hope HBO or Showtime will pick it up, finally allowing Ian McShane to unleash his tongue. Oh, and it wouldn't hurt to show some (of the prince's) skin; we ALL know monarchs are crazy horndogs.

  • depardoo

    I never before realized that Tom Cruise has Donald Trump's fingers.

    depardoo

  • OprahBabb

    I wonder if the fact that Tom Cruise consistently asks to have a scrip re-written has any relation to the fact that he hasn't been starred in a good movie since Vanilla Sky.

    OprahBabb

  • bichon

    I've read all the Scarpetta series, and the earlier ones are the best except her latest was pretty good. I can't see Jolie playing Scarpetta as that character is blonde, Southern, and middle-age.

    bichon

  • jimstoic

    Watching "Kings" is duller than reading Gawker content from Valleywag.

  • Gizmosmonster

    The books are interesting. But Angelina as Scarpetta? Can't see it.

    Scarpetta is written as a bitter, somewhat boring middle-aged republican. Not Angelina's style

    HOWEVER>>> Scarpetta's brilliant, helicopter flying, code cracking niece Lucy is Angelina all the way. Lucy is a lesbian attracted to women with psychopathic tendencies. Imagine how great the serial killer love scenes would be.

    Perhaps the writers could roll the two characters together. Scarpetta did break up a marriage and then refused to marry the guy- Angelina would not need to work to hard to play that!

  • dolemite1975

    @sparkyl: Her and Patricia will be mashed together nicely in a big ol' shit sammich.

    They both suck.

  • MyNameIsChris

    Ooohh... finally news of Jolie's first multi part film series that she'll do after her constantly announced retirement from film. I'm psyched!

    MyNameIsChris

  • MisterBoomBoom

    Tom Cruise had a few good ones, it seems like the last couple were a bit too action-drama for me. Vanilla Sky and Jerry McQuire were excellent though

    MisterBoomBoom

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