Qantas Are So Sick Of These Motherf*cking Snakes On Their Motherf*cking Planes

I know I should be feeling kinda bad for Qantas because another negative story about them has hit the papers, but to be honest I’m vaguely thrilled by the following tale of snakes terrorising a Qantas flight. When “cult” movies get real…

Reports smh.com.au:

Four baby snakes grounded a Qantas plane in Melbourne after they made a doomed bid for freedom during a flight from Alice Springs. The four Stimson’s Pythons were found to be missing from their container on Tuesday when the flight arrived in Melbourne.

The 15cm snakes were among 12 pythons in a container in the Boeing 737-800’s cargo hold, a Qantas spokeswoman said. Two flights had to be cancelled while staff searched for the missing snakes, but they could not be found.

Okay, four baby snakes aren’t quite up to the genital biting terror the movie Snakes On A Plane had me expecting, but whatever. Let’s take what we can motherfucking get, people.

QUESTION: What would be worse: to find yourself stuck on a plane with four escaped baby pythons, or to find yourself stuck on a plane with the following celebrities?

It’s almost too close to call, isn’t it? JUST KIDDING.

I got that picture from the VAustralia Twitter account. Can you identify all the “celebrities”? So far I reckon I’ve picked Lisa Curry Kenny, Grant Kenny, Ricki-Lee Coulter (I fucking love Ricki-Lee despite her “formidable” manager), Deni Hines, no idea, no idea, no idea, no idea (are these people staff?), Michael Caton, no idea, Girlfriend Goldman, no idea… Bianca Dye?

I suppose my ideal passenger list would see me travelling with Ricki-Lee and four baby pythons.

PS: Ricki-Lee looks alarmingly like Tania Zaetta… IS IT TANIA ZAETTA? The day I stop being able to pick Ricki-Lee out of a line up, my career as a stupid pop culture obsessed blogger is over.