North Melbourne Football Club Make Chicken On Chicken Porn Video
From the tone of Samantha Lane’s article about the online video antics of North Melbourne Football Club players, I suspect I am meant to be outraged by the following news story. Perhaps the fact I am finally finding sport star mischief worthy of a reluctant smile says something about how horrible and sick in the head I am these days. Or how crap both versions of The Footy Show are.
From Real Footy:
A video depicting degrading sex acts filmed in the rooms of the North Melbourne Football Club and posted online by one of the side’s young footballers is being investigated by the club.
Degrading sex acts? Sounds terrible. I am horrified. Which poor teenage girl was dragged into the locker rooms and treated like a worthless cheap piece of meat? My pitchfork is at the ready.
North Melbourne chief executive Eugene Arocca said last night he was “embarrassed” about the four-minute movie that depicts sex acts by a toy rubber chicken — being manoeuvred by an unidentifiable human hand — in a supermarket, a pub toilet and in the club’s locker rooms and offices.
Throughout the video, which was posted on YouTube, the toy chicken has a condom on its head and is manipulated to look as if it is penetrating the carcass of a real chicken that also features throughout the film.
Oh dear lord. This is surely some kind of belated April Fools Day joke. Is this story seriously a sex scandal?
The real chicken seemingly plays the role of a woman. The storyline becomes increasingly menacing as the two characters go to the pub — he has beer, she has white wine — and end up having sex in the toilet.
“Seemingly” plays the role of a woman? Sounds to me as though someone is deliberately trying to view the clip in the worst possible context. Is white wine a particularly menacing drink? Are two consenting adult chickens not allowed to indulge in a toilet root? I mean, if the rubber chicken was bending the frozen chicken over, and a voice pretending to be the rubber chicken was all “I’ll teach you to say no, bitch!” then perhaps we could correctly assume the video was meant to be “menacing” and disrespectful to ladies. BUT THESE ARE RUBBER/FROZEN CHICKENS, PEOPLE!
Actually, maybe the frozen white wine supping chicken isn’t meant to be a woman at all! Perhaps it’s meant to be a gay frozen chicken who doesn’t like the taste of beer, and this video is a footy player’s way of gently coming out via YouTube?
The final scenes show the real chicken carcass being hurled against a wall, then run over by a van before the rubber chicken returns and simulates fornication again.
Okay, I’ll admit that this bit is menacing. But it may not be a crime against women! It may be a hate crime against gay frozen chickens! I WANT THE NORTH MELBOURNE FOOTBALL CLUB BOOTED OUT OF THE AFL.
The video is obviously daft – and probably highly unfunny to anyone who isn’t regularly copping blows to the head on a football field – but I can’t help but feel that making this incident out to be something bigger and more abusive than it really is will take some of the impact away from any future stories about real women being assaulted by boozed up sportsmen.
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Comments
The way I interpret the article by Samantha Lang is that in her opinion, or at least her editors, the video in question is demeening to the act of sexual congress itself. Which as everyone knows, is a sacred bond between a Man and a Woman. I am outraged, outraged and unsatisfied by this video!
Well put Jess. Love your work.
Here’s my (not entirely dissimilar) take: http://roobeauty.wordpress.com/2009/04/08/boris-the-rubber-chicken/
Well put Jess. Love your work.
My (not entirely dissimilar) take is available on my website (linked above).
I don’t think that bringing attention to this event distracts away from wider issues of abusive footballers. Footballers assaulting women doesn’t just happen suddenly and without any background or context. The attitudes this video seems to display are significant of a mindset towards women apparently held by a lot of (young) men in football. It’s these beliefs and behaviors that cause them to go on and cause actual physical violence against women.
Instead of just waiting for someone to go beat a woman up, it would seem better to demand action to be taken – preferably education about violence against women and an understanding of prevention.
By saying that we shouldn’t be making such a fuss out of this because it demeans ‘real’ violence implies we should ignore all the steps that lead up to that violence and only react when it happens. Prevention seems better.
Defamer vs Dawn Chorus?
Haha, nah! Just me…
Samantha Lane’s remarks are more offensive to me than the video. I object strongly to her calling a frozen chook a “carcass”. This is the rhetoric of militant vegetarianism (or “anticarnivorism” if you will)! It’s akin to referring to steak as “carrion”. I, for one, don’t eat “real chicken carcass”: I eat poultry, thank you very much.
Also, I’m fairly sure that at least one of the parties being alive is a necessary condition for “sex acts”.
I dont understand what the fuss is all about, women shouldnt even be on computers looking this stuff up they should be cooking, cleaning or giving men sex, its all their good for. who bloody cares if some footy players made a video of a rubber chicken having sex and why does it matter what drink they ordered!? the world has become to sensitive, full of pussies and lesbian female activists. if a man found this offence of rude to women hes gay. and the fact that it mattered that they were football players? there are videos of people cutting their penis’ in half on the net and no one gives a fuck but when someone whos considered a celebraty does something that (wrongly) is found offencive everyone goes crazy. those blokes are getting 5,000 fines and they club will have to donate 10,000 to dykes who reckon women are deserve a better repuation. fuck you all, your getting to bored. find something better to do than whine a bitch like litle fucking sissy girls (oh god thats sexist, fuck you).
Are you single, Philip?
wow……I really love how toilet wall humour now moves the masses…..and from the SAME wall!!. The prehistoric yearnings of men to make pictures of Willies engaged in all sorts of unnatural congress…..and to provoke the disgust of all and sundry assumes stratospheric proportions. Fantastic. I must join North Melbourne for some creative pointers. I was beginning to give up on those nancies.