Jay Leno Hospitalised, Giving NBC A Heart Attack

He couldn't find his funny bone. It's fine though - the doctors explained that he lost it in the mid 80s or so and he can live a long and productive life on network television without it. He'll be OK.

It's just that he's ill considering his spree of Susan Boyle jokes. Christ, could he be more shallow?

Awesome X

We dont get to see Ryan on the teevee tonight? THAT is the real tragedy.

Ryan must be upset that he is gonna have to stay home with Scarlett instead of enjoying Jay's company.

Leno is fine...no sweat!!

Sheldon Dacres

It's not that dire, if anything happened to Leno they could get Letterman.

Maybe he broke his chin. That fucking chin.

Can't we get Wanda Sykes to fill in?

TillieHarper

Leno has an In-N-Out triple-cheeseburger lodged in a hard-to-reach region. No worries -- he will be back on the air tomorrow night! By the way, he will remain on the air for another 75 years and will outlive every human born in the 20th century.

He just wants attention.

He is said to be in "good spirits" and writing jokes from his hospital bed.

Thank god, we haven't had any good hospital food jokes since Henny left us.

What? They couldn't/wouldn't get Conan to guest host? It's going to be his show anyway soon enough.

dmerc

"when leno sneezes, the network catches a cold." you should write an nbc version of macbeth.

they could put Johnny's ashes on the desk and I would probably laugh more than if Leno was there.

Why is he so resistant to having guest hosts? God knows a lot of viewers wouldn't mind the change once in a while.

Bonnie Hunt was one of the guest hosts when Letterman had shingles, and she ended up with her own show. Elvis Costello did pretty well too, now he has Spectacle.

Carson used to nurture talent, and was never diminished by the success of others. Leno holds onto his territory like a wild animal.

The man makes more than anyone in Hollywood, and doesn't even spend it. Someday he's going to have to evolve into something more than his patented "homely stand-up comic who got lucky" act. And time is running out.

@unclevanya: Yeah, but Carson was... Carson. Leno is...not.

NBC should do like the Cubs did years back when Harry Carry was sick (or dead?) for a season--they just had every random big-name Cubs fan around come in and do play-by-play for a game. Bill Murray, all those guys. A different Tonight Show host every night would be kind of awesome.

@unclevanya: He doesn't spend it? Have you seen his classic car and motorcycle collection? It fills a half-dozen warehouses.

@Dave J.: The Cubs still do that for take me out to the ball game, in fact it's how I got Leno's autograph on a baseball, which was a stupid hobby of mine for a while. Got Pat Sajak too LOL.

@unclevanya: Wow, I didn't know that. He must have $300 mil in the bank... Well, I know he plays Vegas and AC all the time. You don't hear about the shows because they are painfully unfunny.

@MrInBetween: He always claims that he doesn't touch his Tonight Show money, and only lives off his stand-up money. He says he still makes dozens of appearances every year. Not sure where he makes these magical appearances, as it doesn't seem to make the press much.

This is god's way of telling NBC that they should have scheduled a new Law & Order episode every night at 10 p.m.

Nora Bombay

@Nora Bombay: Or re-runs of Kojak.

@unclevanya: I will never understand the appeal of Bonnie Hunt. Just escapes me.

Banjo-Sea Kitten

Even on a bad night I'd rather watch Letterman than Leno.

BreeDMN

@Nora Bombay: Hill Street Blues: The Next Generation

@Banjo-Sea Kitten: You and me both. I hear people say she's hilarious, but when I watch her I don't see or hear anything...funny...happening.

couldn't they just have ryan renolds... in a Gstring... gyrating slowly on a disco box for an hour? along with long, slow montages of his abs?

and haters, I don't care if he's dumb as a stump and can't act - he is HOT

The Boulevard of Broken Queens

Maybe he got a look at his monologue?

let's put it to a vote, which would you rather see (if you had to choose): ryan renolds being interviewed by the human chin, or ryan renolds naked?

thought so.

The Boulevard of Broken Queens

@Dave J.:

Agreed, I'm an avid hater of Leno and his stupid jokes. Anytime I have had to watch his show I can't help but notice that he tries to turn everything into a gay joke insulting the person he is interviewing or pervs on most of the more attractive actresses on his show. His sense of humor and interviewing is fucking low brow and almost anyone could do it better.

I can't wait for Conan to take over his time slot.

mister.matthew

@unclevanya: because he knows he will be upstaged by special guest host Carrot Top.

Crappy jokes or not, he's really a decent, loyal guy. Hope he's well soon.

Imnotatnbc

@mister.matthew: Agree. In addition to trying to turn everything into a gay joke, he always tries to sexualize everything about his female guests. He operates on these two obsolete desperate levels, perhaps proving that the only thing that kept him on the air for so long is the homophobia and patriarchy of the older generations. Go away, already.

@Imnotatnbc: Yeah, so's my cat. I'll always want the best for him and his health, but I wouldn't give him a network show.... what the hell am I saying?? Of course I would! You guys should see his somersaults! I'd watch him over Leno any day...and I do.

@Nora Bombay: Only if it's SVU so I can stare at Chris Meloni and drool a little bit...

CondoMonkey

@unclevanya: I lived in L.A. for a few years, and there are a bunch of comedy clubs around, and Leno would do unannounced surprise shows at a lot of them - people would think they were going to see something else and, surprise! Jay Leno! (Bob Saget does the same thing).

I still don't think he's funny though.

CondoMonkey

All this hate for Leno, don't you know what his role is?

He's the ultimate safe comic. He's never going to swear or get too political or even make a guest awkward (something Letterman does and does so wonderfully).

Leno's "aw shucks" vanilla act makes grandma feel safe and warm as she drifts in and out of consciousness.

As anyone under, jesus, 40 stops watching broadcast tv the only shows worth putting on will be the blandest, most broadly appealing schlock. He is a man well-suited for his age.

steampoweredboy

The NBC Affilliate In boston decided it would be a good idea to try and spit the bit out of there mouths and schedule a 10 PM local news program instead of Jays new prime time gig. A strange decision, since their 11 PM news show is like, number 4 in the local ratings.. So what better time than right now to tell Jay Leno, a Boston native, and NBC to go fuck themselves, I suppose.. And refry a bad broadcast. Polishing a turd, I think it's called.
As soon as everyone from Portland to Providence got done wiping away the tears of laughter, WWTF or whatever their call letters are quietly released a statement singing Jay's Praises and begging the Network for forgivness.

Jay is Money. Who says no to Money?

stanhalen

Jay plays the Comedy & Magic Club in Hermosa Beach just about every Sunday evening...

DanielleCadillaxing

@putchie: What thou wouldst highly, That wouldst thou chinily...

Conan as Banquo

The guitar player sidekick as Ross

La Bamba as Fleance

Terrafractal

@Awesome X: I can't think of someone whose off the cuff improv is so funny but written monologues are so terrible.

@The Boulevard of Broken Queens: That is something that stood out to me in Adventureland. Like, Jesus Christ. When did Ryan Reynolds get that hot?

I think he just died: [www.reddit.com]

@sarrible: do I need to rent this immediately?

The Boulevard of Broken Queens

@FightingChance: They're not as good as his off-the-cuff stuff because his writers suck.

During the writers' strike, the whole show was better.

Spinfusor

@steampoweredboy: Letterman is a good host when he's not stuttering through every sentence or running down a top 10 list.

Spinfusor

Leno is sexist, homophobic, and boring.

nakedscience

@Imnotatnbc: I agree with you, he has always seemed like a kind and decent person. Haters can suck it. Get well Jay!!

I_b_hatin

I hear he almost died because it took him a half hour to decide which car to drive to the hospital.

Rafiq Qureshi is hoping Leno gets better soon so he can better peddle him to the prospective Middle Eastern buyers for sex
trade. Non-food poisoned talk show hosts get double the rate.

@FightingChance: When did these "off the cuff" funnies happen? I must have missed 'em; just my fucking luck :(. Whenever I turn on his show, I'm always be getting "written monologues," even when he's interviewing the guests or bantering with the band, because I've yet to catch these alleged heh-heh moments.

@GBrown: please do strike the "be" after "always"; better still, strike the whole thing. Thanks. :))

Well said.
@steampoweredboy:

ScottieB

@Imnotatnbc: A decent, loyal guy who screwed David Letterman, a friend of many years, in a particularly underhanded and creepy way.

@lawnsprinkler: That random-ass blog seems like a truly reliable source!

miss melis is a bee girl for the 21st century

@Imnotatnbc: I don't think anyone's hoping he doesn't get well... just idly wondering how he got to where he is in the first place...

miss melis is a bee girl for the 21st century

@mister.matthew: I just really hope that Conan isn't forced to change his humor to fit some kind of Leno-esque mold...

miss melis is a bee girl for the 21st century

@dmerc: I'm guessing they didn't plan for this possibility when they wrote up his contract.

Also, I think the reason they gave him a few months off was for him and his family to move to LA... he may not have made the move yet.

miss melis is a bee girl for the 21st century

If laughter is the best medicine, Mr. Leno won't be getting well anytime soon.