Extremely Important News Story, Must Read ASAP!!!

I think I may have stumbled over the greatest news article ever written. Admittedly, it’s not the first time I’ve said that about something I’ve read during the past week, but what can you do when the papers keep delivering non-stop awesome journalism, you feel me?

From the opening sentence, it’s clear we’re about to learn about something Very Important.

Kim Kardashian is as known for her long brunette locks as she is for her enviable curves, but today she hit the streets of New York with dramatically lighter hair!

I think it’s the exclamation mark that killed me. It really hammers home the fact Kim Kardashian’s new hair colour is worth knowing about.

BUT WAIT! THERE’S A TWIST TO THE STORY!

Since posting the photo, Kardashian has told fans on her blog she wore a wig. Sorry guys, it was all a hoax.

I mean, really – Daily Telegraph, you are surely taking the piss here! Please tell me this didn’t make the actual paper and it’s just some awful online filler because even by trashy newspaper standards, this appears to be a tale penned for idiots, by idiots. And I have a healthy appetite for rubbish, I swear to god. Somewhere the Baby Jesus is crying and burning his Keeping Up with the Kardashians DVD box set in disgust.

MORE: Kim Kardashian’s shock makeover, goes blonde