Sia In Concert!

Last night I went to see Sia perform at The Corner. The CSS remix of Buttons is currently being flogged on the national youth broadcaster, and this Australian tour was presented by NOVA and MTV (I know!), so unsurprisingly it was a sell out show. And also packed with famous people!

Here what happened.

- Before the gig actually kicked off, a small tattooed lass with a delightful hat walked into the rooftop bar, and the head of every bi-curious girl in the room began spinning excitedly. Hello, Ruby Rose! I actually heard the words “I REALLY WANT TO GO DOWN ON RUBY ROSE!” coming from the mouth of a sweet young blonde girl next to me. Unbelievable.

- Then we wandered downstairs for the show, and I had a quick chat to some of the staff (I host the Wednesday night trivia there, so The Corner is like my second home). After I remarked about the splash Ruby Rose was making upstairs, one of the bar guys said “Yeah, and did you see Delta Goodrem?”

- I walked into the band room and immediately bumped into Delta Goodrem. Sorry, Delta.

- Oooh, who is that tall Irish guy gesturing in Delta’s direction, trying to get her attention as he lines up at the bar? Hello, Brian McFadden!

- At this point, I should probably mention that Sia was fantastic, goofy, endearing, and wonderful.

- The same cannot be said for the ill-bred bogans surrounding me, burping their salami-infused breath in my vicinity, shouting conversations into my ear (eg “Oi, you big fanna this bird? I dunno ‘er, just fawt I’d cumman cheggidowt, ya know? She’s orright, innshee?”) during quiet songs I had been hoping to enjoy, and generally elbowing and jostling about in a most punchable way. Add to that a girl on pills who clearly believed she was Sia and insisted on singing along loudly (and badly) to every single goddamn song, and I was not the happiest panda in the zoo.

- But Sia? Delightful. Sounded perfect, was clever with the quips (after an audience member yelled “TAKE IT OFF!” at her, she grabbed her boobs and said “They look just like your mum’s…”), and altogether charmed the pants off Melbourne.

- ‘Breathe Me’ gave me chills.

- And a huge number of people in the room watched this breathtaking performance through a small screen on the back of their camera. People! If you want to see YouTube sized footage of a Sia concert, stay at home and watch YouTube! You’ve made it out of the house, and the real thing is literally metres in front of you delivering a perfectly good live performance, and you’re so busy capturing it for the future with your digital camera, you’re not even experiencing it in the present moment!

- After the show, we went back to the front bar.

- Where Ruby Rose and Delta Goodrem were catching up.

- And Molly Meldrum sat drinking at a table.

- And one of the dudes from Rogue Traders looked hirsute.

- I’d run into Jess McAvoy at the show, and as we lined up at the front bar for a beer, she whispered in my ear “My arm is resting against Molly Meldrum’s arm!”

- Now Jess McAvoy has Molly Meldrum’s powers. And then I touched her, so now I have them.

- Apparently a security guard screamed with shock and delight as they were stamping Delta’s wrist and looked up and realised who she was.

- Apparently Brian tried to light a cigarette in the front bar! Naughty Brian, you’re not in Ireland now! Outside with you!

- Apparently Delta asked staff for help slipping out the side door because people were being mean to Molly Meldrum during the show.

- How could anyone be mean to Molly Meldrum? Have people no RESPECT? Goddamn it, if Molly is good enough for Barack, I think he should be good enough for the rest of us.

- Also, do you not love the fact that Delta, Brian, and Molly all hang out together? I do. I love it a lot.

- Oh hey, guess what? Ruby Rose and Jess Veronicas are JUST FRIENDS. For realsies. And you know I’d tell you the truth.

I think that is it. Good concert, Sia! Dare I say it was SoGoodrem? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Eight thumbs up!