Fat Women Need Bachelors Too
Movies get directors, and they also get Matthew McConaughey. The Office actors just got rich, and fat people just got validated, in glorious reality show form.
Jump-cut proficient director Tony Scott has signed on to helm Unstoppable, a thriller about a runaway train that’s full of dangerous radioactive goop. The engineer (Denzel? Will?) and the conductor (Dakota Fanning?) find themselves in a “race against time” to stop the goop from gooping out all over everybody. Everyone else is villains. [Variety] On-set freakout proficient director David O. Russell has signed up for The Silver Linings Playbook, based on the novel about a sadsack high school teacher who goes to live with his mum after being released from the nut house. [Variety]
Kathy Bates has joined Sandra Bullock in a drama called The Blind Side, about a hobo who learns to play football. And, to love. [Variety] Emma Stone, a future tabloid queen will star in Easy A for Screen Gems. The comedy is about a high school student who, while reading Nathaniel Hawthorne’s book-of-the-movie based on Demi Moore’s The Scarlet Letter, decides to pretend she’s the school slut so she’ll be popular. How one only pretends to be a loose woman is unclear to us. [Variety]
Matthew McConaughey (introduced hilariously by Variety as “Fool’s Gold thesp”) has signed on to be maybe a little serious for once in his goddamned, sun-poisoned life. He’ll play the lead in the legal thriller The Lincoln Lawyer, about an attorney made of logs. Or something. [Variety] In other encouraging movie news, presumed blockbusters like Transformers 3 and The Avengers are securing release dates even though nothing has been signed off on them, nor do they even have scripts. So. Good. [Variety]
Bet there’s a money-fight going on right now at Dunder Mifflin. NBC has secured lucrative syndication deals for The Office in all 50 top markets across the US. The comedy will air on Fox affiliates this fall. [THR] ABC has cut its 13-episode order of freshman sitcom In the Motherhood to just 6 for this season. The show premiered last Thursday to low-ish (6.7 million) ratings. [Variety]
You won’t have to drive over to the Ruby Tuesday’s to watch fat people dating each other anymore. No, Fox is developing a reality dating show called More to Love. Fox alternative programming prez Mike Darnell says of the show, in a statement sure to haunt him in the afterlife: “For six years it’s been skinny-minis and good-looking bachelors, and that’s not what the dating world looks like. Why don’t real women — the women who watch these shows, for the most part — have a chance to find love too?” It’s true. Our real, fat, Bachelor-watching citizenry needs fake, sad reality show love too. Me, I’m just hoping this opens the door for Fat Real World and Fat Housewives of Fat City USA Population: You. [THR]
Meanwhile Survivor guru Mark Burnett is joining ABC in an unholy alliance to produce Shark Tank, an adaptation of a British reality show that is itself an adaptation of a Japanese reality show about rich tycoons giving struggling entrepreneurs money. In this economy! [THR]
david o russell
emma stone
fat people
in the motherhood
kathy bates
matthew mcconaughey
sandra bullock
the office
tony scott
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Comments (AU Comments | US Comments)
@resipsaloquacious: EVIL. Tooti just LOOKED fat because she had a HUGE chest.
Oy Veh (Informality Reigns)
My Fat Person dating show pitch: run a live feed of security video cams in various Applebee's, Chili's and Ruby Tuesdays during Happy Hour.
WindowSeat
If fat people wanted to watch TV shows of fat people dating they would just flip the channel to a rerun of "The Facts of Life."
resipsaloquacious
"Fat Housewives of Fat City USA Population: You"
Please! Is this also known as Real Housewives of Jackson, MS?
Man, c'mon. Fat people have enough of a stereotype already, now we need to accentuate the "sleep with anyone" part?
Didn't he already play a lawyer in, uh, whatever it was with Sandra Bullock? He should fear becoming typecast.
crotchety
"an attorney made of logs"
would see!
That McDonalds fat kid picture never gets old.
@oboesqueaks: Right. Because there are no other fat people in the country.
Let's see, for Unstoppable, how about: "All aboard for terror!" Or "A one-way trip to Armageddon." Or "Unless they stop it, it's the end of the line. For all of us." Or "Next stop, death!" Or "The express route to the end of the world!" Or "A runaway train. A radioactive bomb. And a love that was out of control." See? I recently didn't get a freelance gig writing movie posters because I didn't have specific "prior experience. " Yeah. Like it's fucking brain surgery. But hey, at least I'm not bitter.
NigelAstydameia
Easy A is a really witty script, and Emma Stone is perfect for the lead. I'll be looking forward to seeing the movie.
I vomit all over this news.
@NigelAstydameia: "I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around the city, keeping its speed over fifty. And if its speed dropped, the bus would explode! I think it was called ... The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down." - Homer Simpson
@Mama Penguino: No, it's true. The people in the rest of the country are just wearing fat suits so they can find out how it feels to be a housewife in Jackson. They saw it on Tyra.
paragrab
@Oy Veh (Informality Reigns): Those were some tig 'ol bitties, I'll give you that much.
paragrab
@oboesqueaks: I would like the phrase "Fatty fatty boombalatty" added to the list of unacceptable hatespeech.
Evan Mintz
I kind of like the idea of this show - my cousin was thinking of applying and I told her to go for it!! It took her awhile to find the casting site but she said it was
www.moretolovecasting.com
Cutting Makes You Sexy
@NigelAstydameia: "I choo-choo-choose death."
badhatharry