The Bass Has Usurped Kylie Minogue To Become Goddess Of The Gays™

I think we can all learn something from news that Natalie Bassingthwaighte has taken over Kylie Minogue’s position as patron saint of Mardi Gras – if you’re going to spend all your time overseas chasing hot Spanish models and failing to bring home Grammys, some young(er) upstart from your hometown is going to steal your crown.

Natalie Bassingthwaighte is being hailed as a Kylie-style gay icon, with man-love showered on her new album and an upcoming Mardi Gras appearance.

Oh, those gays! Showering “man-love” is certainly a dramatic way of showing appreciation for Natalie Bassingthwaighte’s new album – it must be good because it looks like the star of a bukkake video. That’s the kind of rating system I can approve of whole-heartedly. “Five out of five lashings of jizz – do yourself a favour!”

Natalie goes on to talk about the recent Sydney concert she cruelly invited Defamer Australia to knowing full well we wouldn’t be able to make it!

Nat got a fair idea of her support base at a recent guerilla show at Sydney’s Oxford Art Factory, one of a series of small venue gigs to reward fans who’ve patiently awaited her long-mooted solo cut.

“I’m about three songs in and I looked out and went, ‘is everybody out here gay?’,” Nat laughed. “It was a sea of very happy men singing along and dancing like there was no tomorrow. And I just went, ‘you guys are great’. It was literally a sea of camp guys everywhere. I thought, ‘this is hilarious’. And they loved the rocky stuff.”

This sounds much better than her Melbourne show, which was described to me by someone in the building as a place filled to the brim with thoroughly mental young girl fans of The Bass who nearly clawed each other’s eyes in order to get to the front. Apparently “quite a few friendships made on the Bassingthwaighte messageboard would have been destroyed that night”. I wish I had gone to that show, I thrive in situations where socially awkward people get violent.

Still – you go, The Bass! You will be Queen of this year’s Mardi Gras, and you shall be worshipped accordingly. Write on my fucking Facebook wall.

MORE: Natalie Bassingthwaighte crowned Queen of Queers