Kobe Bryant Cannot Emphasise Enough How Much He Hates Dog Shit

· Like seriously. Can’t STAND the stuff. Sits up at night thinking about ways to eliminate the need for it altogether. That kind of thing. Dig?

· It’s as if the makers of Crank 2 snuck into our bedroom at night, read our diary, and put every one of our sexual fantasies into one movie poster. They even used the black jumper. We love the black jumper!
· Once upon a time, Paul Rudd doing it for a paycheck meant appearing in kick-arse Hong Kong action movies; now, it means Eva Longoria ghostcoms. What happened?
· Screw Wii. Tonight we’re obliterating a centipede with our own virile stamina.
· We have one request of our lucky new owner: one of these in the hallway.