Monday, February 9, 2009
People
5:33PM Jess McGuire | Dear Kate Winslet,
I adore you. I think you are truly fabulous, and on many occasions I have proclaimed my desire to somehow become you. Which is weird, I’ll admit, but it comes from a non-frightening place of love, I promise.
But I do have one teeny, tiny problem with you. You see, I am forever seeing articles where you are held up as an example of a physically ordinary woman. A lady with many flaws and blemishes who nevertheless bravely parades in front of cameras for a living as a shining example to your “sistas” that inner beauty is far more important than being a slim, blonde starlet.
The thing is… YOU ARE THIN. We keep hearing about how you were once 14 stone when you were in your early teens and you were nicknamed Blubber by horrible school mates, and I feel sorry that you ever suffered from such horrible taunts, BUT THAT WAS NEARLY TWENTY YEARS AGO. You are a size eight now. This is not voluptuous.
There’s this Australian singer you probably wouldn’t have heard of (unless you’ve attended any of Jenna Elfman’s Scientology shindigs in Los Angeles) called Kate Ceberano. Now there’s a hot Kate who can rightfully claim to be stepping up for curvaceous women everywhere. But you are very slim! Very! Slim! I appreciate that you’re trying to encourage young women to develop positive body image, but by constantly harping on about your figure and weight and eating habits in interviews, the press gets more fodder for “I’m going to start loving my backside” articles which leave women who are a size 12 and up thinking “Why on earth wouldn’t this size 8 gal like her arse? Is hers bigger than average? What does that make mine? Pass me a bucket, this dinner must go!”
You are beautiful and talented and refreshingly down to earth and incredibly likeable. But you’ve been slim for twenty years. You gotta let go of that whole Blubber thing, you know?
All the best for your Best Supporting Actress hopes at the Academy Awards,
Defamer Australia
MORE: Kate Winslet – I’m going to start loving my backside More »
An Open Letter To Kate Winslet
5:33PM Jess McGuire | Dear Kate Winslet,
I adore you. I think you are truly fabulous, and on many occasions I have proclaimed my desire to somehow become you. Which is weird, I’ll admit, but it comes from a non-frightening place of love, I promise.
But I do have one teeny, tiny problem with you. You see, I am forever seeing articles where you are held up as an example of a physically ordinary woman. A lady with many flaws and blemishes who nevertheless bravely parades in front of cameras for a living as a shining example to your “sistas” that inner beauty is far more important than being a slim, blonde starlet.
The thing is… YOU ARE THIN. We keep hearing about how you were once 14 stone when you were in your early teens and you were nicknamed Blubber by horrible school mates, and I feel sorry that you ever suffered from such horrible taunts, BUT THAT WAS NEARLY TWENTY YEARS AGO. You are a size eight now. This is not voluptuous.
There’s this Australian singer you probably wouldn’t have heard of (unless you’ve attended any of Jenna Elfman’s Scientology shindigs in Los Angeles) called Kate Ceberano. Now there’s a hot Kate who can rightfully claim to be stepping up for curvaceous women everywhere. But you are very slim! Very! Slim! I appreciate that you’re trying to encourage young women to develop positive body image, but by constantly harping on about your figure and weight and eating habits in interviews, the press gets more fodder for “I’m going to start loving my backside” articles which leave women who are a size 12 and up thinking “Why on earth wouldn’t this size 8 gal like her arse? Is hers bigger than average? What does that make mine? Pass me a bucket, this dinner must go!”
You are beautiful and talented and refreshingly down to earth and incredibly likeable. But you’ve been slim for twenty years. You gotta let go of that whole Blubber thing, you know?
All the best for your Best Supporting Actress hopes at the Academy Awards,
Defamer Australia
MORE: Kate Winslet – I’m going to start loving my backside More » 
Music
12:33PM Jess McGuire | Goddammit, Musical Expat Community! If we can’t rely on you to steal America’s awards of note from under their very noses and help inspire a nation still longing for international approval, what in sam hell is the point of following your careers and constantly prefacing your name with an exceedingly affectionate ‘Our’ in every news article churned out about you?
Kylie Minogue, AC/DC, Keith Urban and Sam Sparro have been snubbed at the 51st Grammy Awards in Los Angeles. The Australian contingent failed to win awards at music’s version of the Oscars.
By the way, thanks for clearing up what the Grammys are, The ABC. More »
Australian Grammy Awards FAIL
12:33PM Jess McGuire | Goddammit, Musical Expat Community! If we can’t rely on you to steal America’s awards of note from under their very noses and help inspire a nation still longing for international approval, what in sam hell is the point of following your careers and constantly prefacing your name with an exceedingly affectionate ‘Our’ in every news article churned out about you?
Kylie Minogue, AC/DC, Keith Urban and Sam Sparro have been snubbed at the 51st Grammy Awards in Los Angeles. The Australian contingent failed to win awards at music’s version of the Oscars.
By the way, thanks for clearing up what the Grammys are, The ABC. More »
Flotsam & Jetsam
11:28AM Jess McGuire | It’s one of those Mondays, so let’s have another YouTube Clip Of The Day!
More »
YouTube Clip Of The Day II
11:28AM Jess McGuire | It’s one of those Mondays, so let’s have another YouTube Clip Of The Day!
More »
Flotsam & Jetsam
9:42AM Jess McGuire | I may as well have renamed this post Meryl Streep Appreciation, because since I saw Doubt on the weekend I’ve decided she’s the greatest person ever, and – of course – I returned home and went on a YouTube binge.
Firstly, here is the trailer for Doubt, if you’ve not seen it yet.
She is AWESOME. If Kate Winslet (and I say this as a fan of hers) wins the Oscar for the somewhat disappointing Revolutionary Road over Meryl Streep’s turn in Doubt then I’m not sure I will be able to contain my furious anger.
ANYWAY. Here is Meryl being a bit amusing! More »
YouTube Clip Of The Day
9:42AM Jess McGuire | I may as well have renamed this post Meryl Streep Appreciation, because since I saw Doubt on the weekend I’ve decided she’s the greatest person ever, and – of course – I returned home and went on a YouTube binge.
Firstly, here is the trailer for Doubt, if you’ve not seen it yet.
She is AWESOME. If Kate Winslet (and I say this as a fan of hers) wins the Oscar for the somewhat disappointing Revolutionary Road over Meryl Streep’s turn in Doubt then I’m not sure I will be able to contain my furious anger.
ANYWAY. Here is Meryl being a bit amusing! More »
People
8:32AM Jess McGuire | Pity Lily Allen, you bastards. Her full on celebrity status is preventing her from doing everyday things the rest of us simply take for granted. For instance, while yours truly can merrily skip down to the shops and buy a value pack of condoms, and then – if the mood takes me – wrap the daisy chain of dingers around my neck like a silk scarf and skip around the store singing “Hearts In Danger” by Southern Sons without anyone taking any notice at all, Lily can no longer enjoy the high of purchasing latex sheaths without feeling judged by the public.
Lily Allen says she is too famous to buy condoms. The ‘Fear’ singer says fame prevents her from doing “regular daily stuff”, like buying contraception, without causing a fuss.
More »
Lily Allen’s Celebrity Status Prevents Her From Purchasing Prophylactics
8:32AM Jess McGuire | Pity Lily Allen, you bastards. Her full on celebrity status is preventing her from doing everyday things the rest of us simply take for granted. For instance, while yours truly can merrily skip down to the shops and buy a value pack of condoms, and then – if the mood takes me – wrap the daisy chain of dingers around my neck like a silk scarf and skip around the store singing “Hearts In Danger” by Southern Sons without anyone taking any notice at all, Lily can no longer enjoy the high of purchasing latex sheaths without feeling judged by the public.
Lily Allen says she is too famous to buy condoms. The ‘Fear’ singer says fame prevents her from doing “regular daily stuff”, like buying contraception, without causing a fuss.
More »
Flotsam & Jetsam
7:02AM Jess McGuire | Hola, kittens!
I just wanted to have a quick word with you before we kick start another week by taking hits from the pop culture bong.
As you all know, it’s been an unbelievably horrible weekend in Victoria. As I write this, 93 people have been confirmed dead after fires swept the state, which makes this weekend’s bushfires the worst in Australia’s history. The stories I’ve been reading and hearing about entire families losing their lives as they try to escape the flames are heart-wrenching. I know a few people with family in immediate danger, whose childhood homes are at risk, who can’t get in touch with loved ones, and it’s just an unfathomably horrendous situation. I spent my first Victorian New Years on holiday in beautiful Marysville – it’s hard to believe that there’s now one building left standing in the town.
And at times like these, waking up in the morning and writing stories about Lily Allen being unable to buy condoms without getting recognised or posting YouTube videos of angry cats just makes me feel like a complete dick, you know?. But it is what I do, much to my family’s shame, and it’s what you come here for.
But I want you to know that while I won’t be writing much else about the fires on Defamer Australia – god knows there are enough reputable news outlets you can get information from, you don’t need me throwing in my pointless two cents – please don’t think that I don’t care or am too obsessed with Southern Sons’ hits of yesteryear to be following the situation.
Instead, go to The Age or the Herald Sun or any other news site you like, and you’ll find out all you need to know. And so as Your Editor spends the week trawling through the pointless and occasionally amusing world of celebrity and pop culture, know that I do so whilst quietly keeping the folks who have lost everything during the weekend bushfires in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you’ll do the same.
Jess x
MORE:
Australian Red Cross – Victorian bushfires 2009 – Appeal
ABC Online – Offer Help Or Ask For It
Do you need help recovering from the bushfires? – Victoria Online
Incident Updates And Advice – Country Fire Authority
Victorian Bushfire Information Line – 1800 240 667
More »
Letter From The Editor
7:02AM Jess McGuire | Hola, kittens!
I just wanted to have a quick word with you before we kick start another week by taking hits from the pop culture bong.
As you all know, it’s been an unbelievably horrible weekend in Victoria. As I write this, 93 people have been confirmed dead after fires swept the state, which makes this weekend’s bushfires the worst in Australia’s history. The stories I’ve been reading and hearing about entire families losing their lives as they try to escape the flames are heart-wrenching. I know a few people with family in immediate danger, whose childhood homes are at risk, who can’t get in touch with loved ones, and it’s just an unfathomably horrendous situation. I spent my first Victorian New Years on holiday in beautiful Marysville – it’s hard to believe that there’s now one building left standing in the town.
And at times like these, waking up in the morning and writing stories about Lily Allen being unable to buy condoms without getting recognised or posting YouTube videos of angry cats just makes me feel like a complete dick, you know?. But it is what I do, much to my family’s shame, and it’s what you come here for.
But I want you to know that while I won’t be writing much else about the fires on Defamer Australia – god knows there are enough reputable news outlets you can get information from, you don’t need me throwing in my pointless two cents – please don’t think that I don’t care or am too obsessed with Southern Sons’ hits of yesteryear to be following the situation.
Instead, go to The Age or the Herald Sun or any other news site you like, and you’ll find out all you need to know. And so as Your Editor spends the week trawling through the pointless and occasionally amusing world of celebrity and pop culture, know that I do so whilst quietly keeping the folks who have lost everything during the weekend bushfires in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you’ll do the same.
Jess x
MORE:
Australian Red Cross – Victorian bushfires 2009 – Appeal
ABC Online – Offer Help Or Ask For It
Do you need help recovering from the bushfires? – Victoria Online
Incident Updates And Advice – Country Fire Authority
Victorian Bushfire Information Line – 1800 240 667
More » 