Nolte: He’s Everywhere You Want To Be

Pictured is the customised credit card delivered to David Mackie, a 35-year-old salesman from Oklahoma who had the simple dream of wanting to see Nick Nolte’s mugshot every time he paid for something with plastic.

A few days later, The Smoking Gun reports, the bank called to explain the card violated “image upload guidelines,” and requested its return, for which he’d be gifted with an appreciatory “$50 customer goodwill statement credit.” Luckily, however, Mackie preserved evidence of his auspicious efforts for posterity. It’s fun for us, but a pale consolation prize for the man who dreamed of responding to merchants queries of “credit or debit?” with a satisfied, “Neither. Put it on my Nolte.”

• Nick Nolte’s “Capital” Offense [The Smoking Gun]