Elisabeth Hasselbeck Woos Paul McCartney With Teenage Fingerpainting

Though Elisabeth Hasselbeck claims she was a designer in her pre-View life, she’s best remembered as a considerably less loathsome Survivor contestant. Today, guest Paul McCartney inspired Hasselbeck to finally share her “art” with us.

In the old days, when “William Ayers” was just a whisper on the winds of the future instead of a frequent shriek during the 10am television hour, our dear young Lizzie (do we think she was a Lizzie? Maybe a Beth?) was a White Album-obsessed braceface who would eventually graduate from Boston College with a concentration on large paintings and industrial design. Who knew? And what happened? She pulled one of those teenage paintings out of storage to impress McCartney (the inadvertent Ringo to her Marge), who was no doubt touched by her extremely literal, insectoid rendering of The Beatles. “And those jars,” McCartney remarked. “Are those a reference to…” “…The failings of liberal groupthink, yes,” Hasselbeck answered. “Also, we has just learned to paint jars in my Oils and Acrylics elective.”

• The View [ABC]