Elisabeth Hasselbeck Rails Against Demonic, Liberal Devil-Tool Known As ‘Wii Fit’

Think the newly embiggened Jessica Simpson has it rough? That’s nothing compared to the poor fat children victimised by the Nintendo cruelty machine Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

The game, which was probably invented by Barack Obama and William Ayers during a sex-having orgy with illegal immigrants, was brought to Hasselbeck’s attention when she interrogated a local third grader for tips on improving her Wii Bowling score. Apparently, Wii Fit’s balance board (which measures body mass index) has shown the child a frightening glimpse of his future as an obese shut-in frantically posting “FIRST!!1!!” on redstate.com blog entries. So what, Joy Behar said. Shouldn’t overweight kids be told the truth? Haha, Joy, The View is no place for simple logic. Elisabeth Hasselbeck is now going to trade her Wii for a PlayStation 3, which will never tell her she looks fat (and also won’t work anymore after the third time she stands on it).

• The View [ABC]