Chinese Theatre Chewbacca Sought In Olsen Twins’ Star Defacing

Violating an unspoken Hollywood rule of engagement—no matter how undeserving or mink-clad you might deem them to be, you never, ever scribble indelible unpleasantries on a celebrity’s Walk of Famestar—an unseen hand has written “FUR HAGS” beneath the names of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. An Olsen fan site attributes the defacing to PETA, who’ve pulled a similar stunt in the past on Sharon Stone’s star—but word on the street has it that local hot-headed reactionary Chewbacca was spotted fleeing the scene with a Sharpie clenched in one paw, shouting, “MRrraaawwwwahhwwgrrrraah,” which translates to, “You have the blood of a thousand Wookies on your hands, you unfeeling, stole-wrapped, two-headed Olsen monster!”