Breaking ‘The Bachelor’ Code: This Season’s Winner Revealed! Possibly!

If you, like us, can barely endure a season’s worth of Bachelor rose-distributions and Fantasy Suite-nailings to learn who absilicious father-of-one Jason Mesnick chose to be his lawfully contracted reality bride: we have exciting news.

A shame-ridden Bachelor-watcher (hailing from Canada, or thereaboots) has, using fancy gumshoe freeze-framing tricks that would make Blade Runner’s Rick Deckard flush with envy, determined the identity of this season’s lucky ring-winner.

Ironically enough, it’s another piece of fingerware that ultimately gives her away. While Videogum is suspicious—”making all of the women pose while Jason pretends to propose to them is EXACTLY the type of thing they would do on this show”—we’re inclined to think this intrepid Canuck has indeed cracked the Bachelor code. (Seriously, though—a gold pinkie ring? Does she ask the other bachelorettes to kiss it before bashing in the traitor’s skull with a baseball bat?)

• Grown Man Ashamed To Have Figured Out Who Wins The Bachelor [Videogum]