How’s ‘The Bass’ Going On Facebook?

Y’all remember The Bass is all over social networking sites now, yeah? It seems like literally days since I’ve had a sook about my Facebook wall being a fawning Bassingthwaighte comment-free zone, but don’t think my pain over that issue has lessened in any way. If anything, the Christmas season just hammered home how alone I feel sometimes, and how much I need some personalised love from The Bass.

While Natalie Bassingthwaighte is yet to deliver the personal comment goods as far as yours truly is concerned, I cannot fault her enthusiasm for the site as a whole. Every day I wake up to find my feed littered with news of Natalie making new friends, being tagged in a picture with fans, and adding new photos to albums called “NYE Rehearsals 30/12/08.”

She’s ALSO written a couple of notes. The following was my favourite:

Sure, it’s succinct – but that’s what I like about it. It tells us exactly what we need to know: date of future gig, location of future gig, how she’s feeling about future gig. The only thing that worries me about it is the ” – ” at the end. The note feels kind of… unfinished. Like someone grabbed her and yanked her away from the keyboard with a sharp “THAT’S ENOUGH OUT OF YOU, BASSINGTHWAIGHTE! BACK TO REHEARSAL!”

Oh. My. God. Maybe that’s why she hasn’t written on my wall? Could it be that Natalie is actually being held hostage by Sony-BMG? Do we need to start reading “between the lines”, as they say?

She’s written another note, you know. Let’s see if we can spot any clues which may indicate she’s in trouble.

&middot “I have my management friends and street team helping me with keeping my profile up to date” = KEEPING ME UNDER HOUSE ARREST
&middot “sometimes I just don’t have the time” = I AM RUNNING OUT OF TIME
&middot “great friends and family and if I missed” = I MISS MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY
&middot “I still hope to see you all at my first ever fan’s only solo performances” = PLEASE ATTEND EITHER MY GIG AT THE TOFF OR THE OXFORD ARTS FACTORY AND RESCUE ME
&middot “we start this journey together” = LET’S HIT THE ROAD AND START A NEW LIFE, PERHAPS WE WILL TRAVEL TO NORTHERN NSW WHERE WE WILL PRETEND TO BE GERMAN BACKPACKERS NAMED FRIEDA AND PIERKJE AND GAIN EMPLOYMENT PICKING ORGANIC FRUITS.

I think I might be onto something here, folks. Or – and this is much more likely – I am a complete moron.

EARLIER:
I Have Had My Feelings Hurt By Natalie Bassingthwaighte
Here Is The Latest Natalie Bassingthwaighte Video