Going To The Meredith Music Festival This Weekend?

CAN I GET A LIFT, BRO?

Also, you’d better leave your stash of illegal substances at home.

Police will crack down on drug use, drink-driving and unruly behaviour this weekend in what will be the largest police operation in the Meredith Music Festival’s history.

Sniffer dogs will be used at the annual music festival, which attracts thousands of people over three days.

If a sniffer dog hoovers up my coke, I will choke a bitch.

(DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?)

My favourite part of The Age’s article was the following:

Police said crowds at the festival, in Meredith west of Melbourne, had been generally well behaved in previous years.

“But there’s anecdotal evidence to suggest illicit drug use does take place at the venue, with the possibility of some trafficking,” Moorabool Inspector Gerry Rudkins said.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

If by “anecdotal evidence” Gerry Rudkins means ‘People spotted stumbling around the bushland half-dressed yelling “God, I’m so fucking high right now! I am hologram man! I can talk to cats” with eyes like saucepans’ then yes, there is anecdotal evidence to suggest that people take drugs at Meredith. I’ve seen it.

Leave your Class A at home, folks! Just get high on the vibes and the tunes!

MORE: Meredith crackdown: biggest police effort in event history