Get ‘Shitfaced’ with Anne Hathaway For the Low, Low Price of $US12,000

Anne Hathaway’s “type,” as it were, is something of a growing concern around the Defamer office these days. One man is doing hard time for essentially stealing a jet-setting lifestyle they could share, and yet another made his big gossip-page debut smeared as little more than a skirt-chasing social-climber. And in between are the principled ones who just come out and ask her: “Will you take $US12,000?”

And now, the day after the Cracked X-mas Fundraiser where the actress auctioned off a drinking date with herself and a few of your close friends, we know that’s as good a pick up line as any:

“I’m not usually very forward, but I thought if there was ever a crowd for me to do something like this, this is my crowd so I would like to auction myself off,” Hathaway announced, “for drinks somewhere fabulous and basically get you totally s—- faced. Tell me what I’m worth.” [...] Hathaway, 26, was embarrassed when her price kept going up. “I’m blushing,” Hathaway said during the bidding process. “Wow, I feel really good right now.”

Enjoy it while you can, Annie, before a troop of FBI agents arrives at your door, waving a search warrant and the sharing the heart-rending disclosure that the proceeds intended for a “crisis helpline for LGBT” youth were diverted instead to some skeevy underground phone-sex empire. Not the same thing! Worse yet, you didn’t even get a John McCain boat ride out of it! We hope we’re wrong, of course, but we — and you, God knows — have seen this one before. Tread carefully.

• Date with Anne Hathaway Goes for $12,000 [People]