Andrew O’Keefe Fallout Continues: Some ‘Thoughts’ From Sally Morrell

If you still can’t get enough of the Andrew O’Keefe-likes-a-drink-or-three scandal that has some folks in the media (Herald Sun, Channel Nine) up in arms but the rest of us thinking “Is that it? Really?”, then you may like to check out the most painful piece of writing I’ve come across in a long time.

It’s Herald Sun columnist Sally Morrell’s latest paragraph-happy piece, and it’s A-OK (themed).

Andrew O’Keefe shouldn’t worry about his drunken antics being publicised, nor should Seven.

These days it’s a non-issue or the punters even expect it.

I have a message for Andrew O’Keefe, lying dead drunk in a South Yarra gutter.

Don’t freak, Andrew, no one really cares.

Or put it this way. Worry heaps, Andrew, because no one honestly cares.

Obviously Sally Morrell has never met an Enter key she didn’t like. Also, do you see what she did there? No one cares about Andrew’s drinking which is a good thing for Andrew, but because no one cares about Andrew’s drinking, society is doomed.

It continues:

Of course, that’s not to say we’re not curious to see the video of the host of shows Deal or No Deal and The Rich List staggering out of Revolver night club, stumbling over to the kerb and keeling over.

As of 4pm yesterday, 50,000 people had clocked on to watch the video on the Herald Sun website.

Of course, this is just the kind of gawking Channel 7 had hoped to avoid when it reportedly paid a bouncer with similar footage $25,000 in hush money.

Of course, everyone likes watching footage of a television star going wild.

Of course, this is precisely the kind of reporting people love the Herald Sun for offering up to readers.

Of course, they’re the ones who sign moral guardian Sally Morrell’s paychecks.

Of course, the following is hands down my favourite part of the article.

I guess the station must have thought that seeing its tarnished star on his back looking at the real stars while puffing on a mid-bender fag would cruel his career.

But that’s such pre-Rudd thinking.

OH NO GIRLFRIEND, YOU DID NOT JUST TRY AND TURN A DEAL OR NO DEAL HOST’S EVENING ON THE PISS INTO AN ANTI-RUDD SPIEL, DID YOU?

Even before Kevin Rudd slipped into New York’s Scores nightclub, since closed for having its strippers get a little too personal, it was already clear that getting plastered in public was no longer the kind of thing that would end someone’s career. In fact, it could even help it along.

(speechless)

Most Australians have had one too many at least once in their lives.

Mike Willesee, the premier current affairs host, once appeared on air giggling, drooling and rambling.

Sacked?

No way.

His ratings only increased.

As Sally points out, the Mike Willesee incident occurred well before Kevin Rudd’s much publicised trip to the strips.

So are we meant to be concluding from the above?

Did Kevin Rudd turn us into a nation of boozehounds?

Or not?

I don’t know who to blame anymore!

Also, STOP STARTING NEW PARAGRAPHS.

Okay?

Morrell does hit the nail on the head in one part of her piece though.

I bet dozens of Revolver patrons get as blotto as O’Keefe every weekend without anyone, including the bouncers, filming them stumbling on the footpath, weaving or puking.

There’s a reason the place has the nickname Revolter, you know.

In conclusion, reading Sally Morrell’s thoughts on Andrew O’Keefe’s liquored up evening made my head hurt*. Read the whole thing (if you dare) by following the link below.

MORE:
Andrew O’Keefe shouldn’t worry about his drunken antics
Andrew O’Keefe: The Nation’s Favourite Party Animal! (Defamer Australia)
Andrew O’Keefe Would Never Set Out To Deliberately Offend Anyone (Defamer Australia)

*And I say that with total understanding of how dodgy many of my own Defamer Australia “pieces” are.