Thursday, December 4, 2008
The EG Awards Are TONIGHT!
4:44PM Jess McGuire | Did you remember to vote? If so, Defamer Australia will be on hand this evening watching the goings on at the Prince Of Wales as award after award is handed out to the cream of the musical community. Will there be a secret guest? Will famous rock stars get too drunk and do embarrassing things?
All I know for certain is that I will be there, camera in one hand, dictaphone in the other, waiting to capture some magic. Unless I get drunk and distracted, in which case – I apologise in advance.
I’m not sure if tickets are sold out, but if they’re not – or if you like buying tickets from scalpers – this is where you need to get to this evening.
PS: Looks like Cilmi didn’t win Best Female… the speeches are saved!
PPS: Remind me to tell you about a MEGA FAMOUS BAND who have sold MILLIONS who are doing a very very secret gig in Melbourne next week. More » 
Lourdes Is Almost As Powerful As Her Mother!
4:03PM Jess McGuire | You know what’s really messed up? I saw the front page of the brisbanetimes.com.au just then (what? I had to visit! I felt sorry for it now that the Courier Mail’s been sauntering around town bragging about how it has the bigger cock!) and my first thought when I saw the headline “Doctors’ panel won’t rule on Lourdes ‘miracles’” -
- was “Oh my god! Madonna’s child has magical powers!”
Which, weirdly, still actually works in a Catholic kind of way.
I had Holy Water from Lourdes in a little Virgin Mary shaped bottle for 27 years, until my stupid dog ate the bottle and drank the water back in January. I tried to tell myself that this meant I now owned a miracle dog, but who am I kidding? The only Lourdes miracle I’m interested in is replacing my damn bottle without having to fly to France and cough up money for it.
MORE: Doctors’ panel won’t rule on Lourdes ‘miracles’ More » The Courier-Mail’s Website Dominates Brisbanetimes.com.au
2:03PM Jess McGuire | When it comes to Queensland-based news websites, there appears to be only one major player. The website for the Courier-Mail has seen its hits go through the roof, leaving its rival – Fairfax’s brisbanetimes.com.au – for dust.
From the MediaWeek newsletter today:
The Courier-Mail’s website couriermail.com.au has soared to record traffic levels, confirming its position as the most popular news website in Queensland and one of the fastest growing in Australia, the Brisbane daily noted this week.
More » 
Nicole Kidman’s Hand In The Air Shows She Just Might Care
10:46AM Jess McGuire | Our Nic TM will think twice next time she raises her palm in the air to give a royal wave to fans at film premieres, methinks. Why? Because those canny folks at Sydney Confidential have made the most of photos featuring Nicole’s heavily lined paws and enlisted an alleged “psychic and medium to the stars” to read her palm. The verdict? She’s got some serious shizz on her mind, kids.
While promoting her film Australia in Madrid yesterday, Nicole Kidman was using her hands very expressively – so much so that Confidential asked an expert to take a good look at her palm.
According to Sydney psychic and medium to the stars Stephen Lloyd Johnson, the Oscar winner has experienced a great deal of pain, has only a handful of friends, suffers from anxiety and will soon pen a tell-all autobiography.
Well, of course she’s stressed! Think of all the horrible Facebook groups out there flinging abuse in her direction!
It gets sadder: More » John Cleese Squats For Kisses
9:46AM Jess McGuire | Comic genius John Cleese is moving on from his recent messy split with his third wife with a younger lady. Much younger. And shorter. Her name is Barbie Orr, she’s 27 years young, and apparently John is smitten to bits. Enough to do the splits in order to smooch her!
His Ministry of Silly Walks sketch saw him adopt a variety of ungainly poses. And John Cleese was at it again as he kissed his much shorter girlfriend. The 6ft 5in Monty Python star had to splay his legs and bend his knees as he embraced Barbie Orr outside a restaurant in Santa Clarita, California.
Although they’ve only been together a few weeks, a friend has spoken up to say that John is serious about his new ladyfriend, although marriage is far, far from his mind… More » 
Jennifer Aniston Enters Post-Bumming Phase Of UncoolGate
8:34AM Seth | Brad Pitt still has some work to do in New Orleans before he can attend to those areas of America hardest hit by the ravages of UncoolGate. Meanwhile, the woman who started it all, EW covergirl Jennifer Aniston, emerges a stronger woman, if forever a far less trusting magazine-profile subject: More »
YouTube Clip Of The Day
8:32AM Jess McGuire | Oh god. Oh god.
My friend Ol sent me this clip when my computer was being a playa hater, so I’ve only just had a chance to watch it now. Sean Combs aka Diddy has uploaded a mini movie to his YouTube account which serves as both an advert for the latest of his products, and an audition for the role of 007 in the next James Bond flick.
I can summarise this video with the words “Diddy is a dick”.
I’m sure Obama is stoked about it though. More » 
Chelsea Handler Calls Tori Spelling a Faux Fag Hag
8:22AM Kyle Buchanan | Gay men used to be known for their powers of artistic discernment, granting a priceless cultural imprimatur on the only trends, films, and iconic women who deserved it. No longer! Now, when even a reality show fourth banana like Audrina Patridge can have gays flinging themselves onto the pavement of Santa Monica Blvd. in a desperate attempt to be her new BFF, the standards for gay adoration have reached a watermark so low that it wouldn’t even reach the hem of $220 capri pants. Thus it is that Tori Spelling has seen fit to anoint herself as a modern-day gay icon, an honour that E! talk show host Chelsea Handler tells The Advocate is simply canny marketing: More »
Paul Giamatti’s Soul, Chris Rock’s Barber Among Subjects in Sundance ‘09 Spotlight
7:46AM STV | The Sundance Film Festival this morning unveiled the competition lineup for its 2009 incarnation (a/k/a the One You’re Boycotting), and it’s a sharp crop of international cinema that will no doubt be met with accolades and not just a few bounced checks from cash-strapped indie distributors. Follow the jump for our quick, dirty, reductive and completely arbitrary survey of the fest’s hottest titles and trends. More »
