Turkey Bowling With Arsenio!

· Damn, we would have had a spare if the stuffing didn’t fall out halfway down the lane.
· After eight performances, a Broadway revival of American Buffalo starring John Leguizamo, Cedric the Entertainer and Haley Joel Osment has closed. The three commiserated with a night of lap dances at downmarket strip club The Spread, where a hammered Cedric sobbed “all I ever wanted to do was entertain” between sloppy titty-grabs.
· The LAT can find no evidence Ben Silverman is about to get shitcanned: “NBC would like to keep Silverman, according to people close to him. His bosses think he’s been a good steward.” The Good Steward. Hmm. We’re seeing Matt Damon biopic potential.
· A Norwegian escort (maybe he found him on a Norwegian cruise line?) testified in the Boy George HustlerNapping Trial of the Century that the singer “manacled him to a bedroom wall and beat him with a metal chain after accusing him of hacking into his computer.” They said “manacled!”