The Defamer Simpson-Wentz Baby Name Generator

Today brings the joyous news that late last night Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz became the proud parents of a baby boy named Bronx Mowgli Wentz—a brilliant choice, if for nothing else being so ridiculous as to be virtually mock-proof. Surely its crunchy-consonant jumble of New York boroughs and Jungle Book characters is worthy of some sort of celebration however, so we proudly present The Defamer Simpson-Wentz Baby Name Generator! As we have no coding skills, this is a very lo-fi generator that really makes you do all the work, but hey—it’s more fun getting your hands dirty in the stupid-celebrity-baby-name mush, isn’t it? No? OK.

Here’s how it works: You simply pick any NYC borough or neighbourhood within that borough, add a Jungle Book character (you can select from a list here, or here, or if you’re feeling too constrained, just pick any Disney protagonist of your liking), then affix the surname of an overexposed celebrity. We’ll get you started:

1. DUMBO Toomai of the Elephants Hilton
2. Ozone Park Rikki-Tikki-Tavi Longoria Parker
3. Gowanus Chuchundra Banks

Now what are you waiting for? Have at it!

[Photo credit: Flickr]

• Baby-name experts grade `Bronx Mowgli’ [AP]