Simon Baker Supplants Michael Phelps at the Top of Barbara Walters’s ‘To-Do’ List

Though Barbara Walters has a long, enviable list of powerful men she’s interviewed, she has an even longer, even enviable-r list of men she’s conquered in the boudoir. Alan Greenspan! Roy Cohn! That one married senator guy! Why, it’s a black book that could make even Angelina Jolie weep into her Hot Pocket. Lately, though, Walters has become something of a chicken hawk, and after lasciviously asking Michael Phelps about his endowments last month, she turned it up a notch on today’s edition of The View.

This morning’s guest was Simon Baker, star of the only real network success story this season, The Mentalist. Baker’s already proved his lady-killing bona fides as the non-Adrian Grenier love interest in The Devil Wears Prada, and his new designation as “Sexiest Blond” in People magazine (combined with his Australian accent, nasch) caused the ladies on the View couch to spontaneously ovulate. The 79-year-old Walters led the charge, turning Baker’s innocent ice cream cone anecdote into an uncomfortable, cunnilingus-inspiring sex fantasy. Is that image more hideous than Whoopi Goldberg’s Ugg Boots? You be the judge!

• The View [ABC]