Marathon Spares the Undiscovered Third Nipple of Ryan Reynolds

As near as we can tell, Ryan Reynolds is known for these five things, in order: shirtlessness, marrying Scarlett Johansson, that Pizza Place show, the Canadian teen soap Fifteen, and pantslessness (NSFW). Considering that two of those five accomplishments leave Reynolds pretty exposed, we thought that there was little left to discover about his impressive physique — that is, until he sat down with Rachael Ray to talk about the effect his recent marathon run had on his body:

Rachel Ray: You blogged a lot leading up to the race about worrying about your nipples. There is no nice way to say this, your nipples bleed from the friction and stuff.

Ryan Reynolds: Weird things happen to you. Thankfully all three nipples are fine. I was really concerned because I was at the finish line two years ago, and I watched these people coming in and it was like watching the music video to “Thriller.” It was really horrifying to watch, and I thought what am I going to do about this? I know you’re supposed to put Vaseline on, and some people said if you put Vaseline on if your chest you’re going to be fine. I was like, should I wear a running bra? Will people know?

Hold the phone, now! Can the eternally barechested Reynolds really have a third nipple that has somehow escaped scrutiny? A Google image search for “Ryan Reynolds shirtless” turned up no discernible evidence (yet still felt completely worthwhile), though an invaluable blog named Quadnips mentions that Reynolds is rumoured to be superfluously endowed. Ryan, we’re waiting for proof. We’ll take a high-res photo (sans Weinstein Co. doctoring) or an in-person examination. We’re not choosy!

• Rachael Ray